Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Overscheduled Professional: Why 24/7 Won’t Get You Where You Want To Go
By Suzanne Bates

Not a day goes by when you ask someone how they’re doing, and they say, “busy!” We are overloaded and in serious danger of letting busyness get in the way of our success. When you are overscheduled, and can do nothing more than block and tackle through your day, you are not making time for what matters most in your career.

Successful people learn to make the leap from overscheduled professional to strategic leader. The leader’s job is not to do the work of the organization. It is to inspire others to accomplish the goals of the enterprise. The leader must articulate the vision and strategy and motivate others to accomplish clear goals. If you don’t make that your priority, you will never be as successful as you deserve to be.

Why Multi-Tasking Fails

Many people believe they can multi task their way to success. Sheryl, the senior vice president of a firm, won kudos from her team with her enormous capacity to take on projects and get things done. She was a consummate multi-tasker. Not only that, she was available to her team. She answered e-mail within minutes. Of course that meant she worked into the wee hours of the night.

The feedback from her bosses was that she needed to become “more of a leader.” What they meant was she needed to delegate activity and set a direction for the organization. They said she had the potential to run the firm someday if she could communicate this vision and drive results.

Even her team recognized that Sheryl needed to become more of a leader. They wished, for example, that she would make time for presentations and tout their great work to senior management. Sheryl said she was too busy to put together a presentation, and she felt it was practically impossible to carve out time. She mistakenly believed it was impossible to change the way things were.

The Big Myth: You Cannot Multi-Task Your Way to Success

Multi-tasking and busyness will only take you so far in your career. Yes, it’s great to be a hard worker, and everyone loves a boss who is responsive. But fill up your day with the routine, mundane tasks and you miss your real job.

Time and time again, when the company says that someone in their organization is high potential but not “strategic”, that’s a danger sign. It means that person is in danger of hitting a glass ceiling and getting stuck.

Fortunately Sheryl took this to heart. She finally realized she couldn’t “do” her way to success. She cleared her calendar and started delegating to her direct reports. She delayed some activities and actually deleted things she didn’t need to do. Then we worked on creating and articulating her vision and strategy. She also delivered presentations to senior management. It took time, but she was able to change her habits and therefore alter perceptions.

Case Study: Why Your Own Comfort Zone will Kill You

Tom had a very different challenge. He always took time to speak to groups inside and outside his company. In fact, he was promoted to president of his division because he was good at standing up and speaking.

However, after his promotion his focus remained on speaking and he was failing to communicate with his own team. Eventually a mutiny began to unfold in Tom’s department. He was away so often that his employees would ask, “Tom who?” His absentee style meant he rarely scheduled meetings with his team, and even when he did, he was known to cancel, because, you guessed it; he was “too busy.”

Danger Signs—You Are Not Spending Time Wisely

Tom was making a common mistake---doing what he enjoyed doing most, which meant not communicating with another very important audience. When he was promoted he failed to develop new work habits that would help him be seen as a leader in his organization. This was compounded when he started blaming busyness. It was obvious he wasn’t making good use of his time.

Tom was never able to come to grips with this time management challenge. He never set his priorities straight. One year later he was moved to an individual contributor role where he could continue his public speaking role.

How to Avoid the Busy Trap and Do What’s Important

How do you know you’re spending time wisely, doing the things that will make you successful in the long term?

Get feedback on your communication strengths and weaknesses, as well as your time management. Ask a trusted advisor how you are doing.

If the feedback shows you need to improve, don’t blame others. Managing your time and communicating at the leadership level is up to you.

Be aware that if you have 500 emails in the inbox and 35 meetings on next week’s calendar you are in danger of drowning in the day to day.

Block out strategic time. Think, write and develop your own, strong viewpoint.

Write, present, and speak regularly. You will save time by communicating to your important audiences what needs to be done and encouraging them to do it.

Develop your skill at delivering your message in a clear, powerful way. Nothing is a bigger time waster than having to go over the same messages again and again.


Case Study in Leadership Communication: Charlie

Charlie, the CEO of a troubled organization, was in a turnaround situation. He had to get the entire organization to see his vision and execute his strategy. Nothing would happen unless he convinced people to change. They had to be on board.

Charlie took a risky step. He decided to write a candid, forthcoming weekly email to update everyone on the strategy and let them know whether the news was good or bad.

Every Friday afternoon, Charlie took the time to sit down and write. He put a lot of time and thought into this communication. Something amazing happened. People not only read the email, they loved it. They forwarded it to other stakeholders who had a role in making change happen.

Good things started happening. The company turned around. People got behind the effort. Charlie credits those messages for his success in overcoming a very difficult situation.

5 Steps to Success

Managing your calendar and focusing more time on leadership and communication is a matter of thinking differently about your role in the organization. These five R’s can help you set priorities, manage your time and effectively communicate with all of your important audiences.

Think of these 5 R’s as Steps to Success:
Recalibrate
Rethink
Retreat
Reprioritize
Release


Recalibrate

Recalibrate how you think about your role. Remember, your job is to lead. Instead of getting mired in the minutia of day to day business, take three hours, close your door, and brainstorm on strategy. When you start by taking small steps such as setting aside three hours of strategic thinking time on your calendar every week, you’ll find you want more. The only way to “find” time is to put it on your schedule.

Rethink

Rethink by analyzing and synthesizing information as you go. In all of your daily meetings and conversations, listen with a critical mind. For example, take time to encourage debate in a meeting so you refine your viewpoint. Ask questions. Challenge assumptions. This is a time saver because you more efficiently gather information, can make decisions more quickly and move on to the next issue.

Retreat

Retreat regularly, in the office and on the road, in order to consider what’s important now. Your business is changing all the time, so you need to stay on top of it. These private retreats can happen anytime of day. For example, if you want to prepare for a meeting, close your door, close your eyes, and think about the outcome you want. Jot down ideas. Even five or ten minutes of preparation in a retreat can make a difference.

Reprioritize

We all get trapped in our own routines. We believe we have to attend certain meetings or oversee certain projects. We believe we are being productive. Yet if we are honest, there are high priority activities that we are not doing. Be honest with yourself about how you are spending your time and get your priorities aligned with your major goals.

Release

Release your ideas to the world. Don’t waste time thinking, reviewing, or revising once you have a direction. For example, I often speak to CEOs who know exactly where they want to take the organization, yet people in the company haven’t heard it. This may be one of the biggest time wasters. Set up meetings and presentations, formal and informal, and deliver your messages.

Suzanne Bates is President and CEO of Wellesley, MA based Bates Communications, and author of Speak Like a CEO: Secrets for Commanding Attention and Getting Results (McGraw Hill). She is a former television news anchor who is now an executive coach, speaker and consultant. Her firm specializes in helping executives and professionals become stars in their industries. Information on workshops, seminars and executive coaching is available at www.bates-communications.com.

The Real Reason Employees Work: 36 Proven Ways To Motivate
By Arnold Sanow, MBA, CSP


Feb 14, 2006 - 12:19:00 PM
From ExpertMagazine.com

Motivation

If you still think money is the #1 motivator ... you're wrong! Money is important, but if someone doesn't like their job or the way they are treated, I don't care how much you pay them, they still won't like it. In fact, in numerous surveys the #1 motivating factor to get employees to perform at their best focuses on appreciation and recognition.

While money is important to employees, what tends to motivate them to perform at high levels is the thoughtful, personal kind of recognition that signifies true appreciation for a job well done.

The best way to provide recognition and appreciation is through the use of rewards. To make our rewards work, we must first follow certain basic guidelines:

1. Design rewards based on the individual's personal preferences. For example to reward a workaholic with a day off could be seen by the employee as, "What did I do wrong?" instead of a show of appreciation as it was meant to be. To really understand what is important to each employee it's essential to get to know each employee well and find out what they think are important rewards.

2. Reward for achievement - Rewards should be based on what was actually done. For example, if someone has given you an idea that has saved you money, that person should get a bigger reward versus someone who just did you a small favor.

3. Time your rewards. Rewards and recognition should be given as soon as possible after the desired behavior. Reward and recognition that come long after the achievement do little to motivate the employee.

To help you provide the recognition, appreciation and rewards that truly motivate, here are thirty-six inexpensive but effective ideas that you can use immediately:

Say thank you. This is so easy, but often overlooked.

A pat on the back.

A smile.

Public recognition in front of peers.

Manage by wandering around (MBWA). Get out from behind your desk and see what your employees are doing. It shows you care and are interested in what they do.

A letter of praise from a customer or vendor shared directly with the employee who delivered the service.

Develop a wall of fame. A letter from a customer or vendor praising an employee, posted on the company bulletin board.

Listening to an employee who has an idea for improving efficiency or effectiveness and then acting affirmatively on that suggestion.

Ask your employee what non-monetary rewards they would like to have and, if possible provide them.

Provide training to employees. Offer them opportunities to improve themselves. For example, one client of mine had me train all their employees in success skills. This not only helped the company, but it was seen by the employees that management really cared about them.

Bring in coffee, donuts and snacks on a regular basis and also do it when it is not expected.

Provide free lunches to employees when you see them doing something above and beyond.

Walk your talk. Lead by example: Do what you say you're going to do and keep all your promises.

Involve employees in decisions that directly affect them. People have a need to belong. Make them feel like they are an important part of your business.

Praise them. Each day your goal should be to catch employees doing something right so you can praise them. This makes them feel valuable and valued.

Listen to your employees. There really is a reason that you have two ears and one mouth. Listening tells you what employees need; it keeps you from making mistakes with them; it wins their respect; it enables you to negotiate successfully with them; it raises their self-esteem; it minimizes their frustration and it communicates that you care.

Let your employees know they are VIPs too! Arrange discounts with local theaters, restaurants, sports events or other things important to them. This will not only motivate them, but they will tell everyone what a great place they work for.

Give credit where credit is due. One of the best ways to achieve results is to give credit to the appropriate employees.

Go out of your way to help employees. A little extra effort, some personal inconvenience, goes a long way with subordinates in confirming the feeling that what they are doing is important to you --- and that they are too.

Have family day. Encourage employees to bring in families to the see the office or plant one afternoon. Follow up with a picnic. What you spend in half a day's down-time will be rewarded many times over by family good will, and of course, word of mouth.

When paychecks go out, write a note on the envelope recognizing an employee's accomplishment(s).

Encourage employees to praise good work of their fellow employees.

Conduct an out-to-dinner program for employees. Award dinners for two for doing something special like coming in on a day off or working through a break. You could also provide dinners to employees who get praised by customers.

Go to lunch with each one of your employees on a quarterly basis. Ask the question, "What do we need to do to keep you with us ?"

Remember birthdays ... birthday card, cake or gift.

Invite employees to your home for a special event and recognize them in front of their spouses and co-workers.

Give employees rewards for customers they bring in.

Offer rewards for great ideas. If it saves money or brings in business, give the employee a percentage of the savings or profit.

Be sympathetic to personal problems.

Have regular meetings to let employees know what is going on in the company. It's important that everyone feels they belong.

Order a pizza or a huge submarine sandwich for a communal lunch.

Send $10, $25 or more to a spouse with a thank-you note for his or her support during the employee's overtime.

Buy gift certificates.

Pay an employees rent for a month.

Pay for the tutoring of an employee's child.

Give employees who recruit new workers a cash bonus.



These are but a few of the strategies you can use. Remember, everyone is different and what motivates one person may not motivate another. In fact, giving the same reward to every member of the company - not only does not inspire employees to excel, but it may actually damage performance as top achievers see no acknowledgment of the exceptional job they have done.

Arnold Sanow, MBA, CSP

Arnold Sanow, MBA, CSP (certified speaking professional) delivers content driven, interactive and entertaining keynotes, seminars, training programs, facilitations and consulting. He works with his clients in assisting them in attracting customers, keeping them through exceptional customer service, and in promoting a positive and profitable environment. His programs focus on marketing, customer service, communication, presentation skills, team and leadership development and business strategies. He has delivered over 2,500 presentations, written 5 books, to include, "Marketing Boot Camp", is an adjunct professor at Georgetown University and the President of The Business Source, Inc. To promote productivity, profits and a positive work environment. www.arnoldsanow.com Feedback

http://www.expertmagazine.com/artman/publish/printer_109.shtml

Developing Leadership Skills

FAQS


Now that my business is growing I’ve been on a leadership course and understand the theory of being a good leader. How do I put this into practice?

Being an owner-manager will give you plenty of opportunities to put your new skills to the test, but remember that leadership capability does not emerge overnight; it takes time and practice, so don’t expect too much of yourself too soon.
Why not make a start, though, by leading a new project, where you can test out the skills you’ve acquired?
Make sure you plan carefully for resources and support. Taking this first step will give you the opportunity to test out your responses to this new situation. In turn, you’ll then be able to evaluate what has worked and what hasn’t, and help you plan what to do or avoid doing next time.


I seem to command an audience easily when I make presentations, but will I make a good leader?
Commanding an audience is a great skill and many leaders have it, but it’s not the sole requirement. Leaders also need to be problem-solvers and have originality and flair, confidence and self-knowledge, strong interpersonal skills, the ability to listen, visioning capability, good organizational skills, and so on. Your ability as a speaker suggests that you’re articulate and self-confident. If you possess the other qualities too, you are well on the way to being the leader your business needs.

MAKING IT HAPPEN
Understand the different facets of leadership

There are different types of leadership styles. Think of three shepherds.
The first opens the gate and walks through, allowing the flock to follow—this shepherd leads from the front.
Another stands behind the sheep and pushes or guides them through, demonstrating a supportive leadership style.
The third moves from front to back and sometimes to the middle of the flock, demonstrating an interactive leadership style.
For leaders to exist, there must be followers, and the needs of followers change depending on
the context. Knowing how to apply different leadership styles can help you respond equally effectively in many different kinds of situations.

Another school of thought recognizes four leadership styles: directive, process, creative, and facilitative, each one related to a personality trait. So, being more relaxed doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be a leader. You simply have natural tendencies for a certain type of leadership. And you may be able to learn other styles—more dominant, intuitive, or structured—as you become more confident and practiced in leadership. Try to work with your preferred style until you are comfortable enough to branch out.

Evidently, certain styles are suited to particular situations. A structured leader, for example, is likely to succeed in a situation where process is important, for example, in running an operation. The relaxed or facilitative leader may be one who manages a professional group of people. Dominant leaders may be needed in businesses where there is a real drive for change.

Get some training
If your budget permits, a leadership course will help you gain a fuller understanding of
what leadership is, and, by extension, how it will work for your business. Courses usually
range from business theory to developing strategy to and understanding business risk.
Having well-developed commercial awareness and a good business education will not
only give you confidence, but will also help command respect from others in the
organization.

Build self-awareness
Your leadership style is the means by which you communicate. The more self-aware you
are, the more effectively it will work for you. This means knowing:

• what you are like
• what your preferences are
• what your goals are
• how other people perceive you and your goals
• how you are motivated to achieve them

Numerous tests and questionnaires can be used to help you explore your personality and
preferences; they are widely available from books, the web, consultancies, and other
sources. Surveys are also useful. Business schools have valuable data on expected
leadership behaviors. You can combine information from all these sources to establish a
benchmark for yourself.

Apply leadership skills
Leadership opportunities are often thrust upon us unexpectedly, but in a small business
environment you’ll come across them more frequently. As in most situations, your best
bet is to start with an analysis of the situation. Decide what is needed, and how you can
best achieve it.
Some leadership positions require you to set the objectives for others to follow. In these
situations, scheduling, consultation, and team building are essential to success. Leaders
often need to work as intermediaries between two groups—those wanting the results
(boards, investors, etc.), and those who will deliver the results. In this case you need to
establish good communication channels with both parties. Try to pick teams that have a
good balance between competent managers and energetic, loyal team members. Teams
need consistent, positive energy levels to sustain momentum. Thus choosing a team by
the mix of talent required, rather than based on friendships or politics, is critical.

If you are trying out new systems or approaches, do surround yourself with the right
people, create a framework for support, and document the process so you can later
evaluate what you have done.

COMMON MISTAKES

Mirroring other leaders too closely
People new to leadership roles may try to copy a leader they respect, because the person
provides an easy model. This can create a false impression of what you are really like, or,
worse, make you look foolish for trying to mimic a style incompatible with your own
personality. Leadership behaviors come from within. Understand what it is you respect in
the other leader and think about how you can best display that attribute. If it doesn’t
work, don’t be afraid to try a new approach.

Not working at it
Many people hope that they have natural leadership skills, and accept leadership
positions without proper training or mental adjustment. This sink-or-swim approach
works sometimes, but not always! Building up leadership skills, increasing awareness of
yourself, and evaluating what you do have much more potential for success. It will also
give you more room to make mistakes without losing credibility.

FOR MORE INFORMATION
Emerald (trading name of MCB University Press):
www.managementfirst.com/experts/leadership.htm
Entrepreneur.com: www.entrepreneur.com (management tab)

Friday, September 28, 2007

The Handbook of Leadership Development Evaluation
Jossey-Bass & CCL, 2007

Kelly M. Hannum, Jennifer W. Martineau, and Claire Reinelt (Editors)


With the increase in the number of organizational leadership development programs, there is a pressing need for evaluation to answer important questions, improve practice, and inform decisions. The Handbook is a comprehensive resource filled with examples, tools, and the most innovative models and approaches designed to evaluate leadership development in a variety of settings. It will help you answer the most common questions about leadership development efforts, including: What difference does leadership development make? What development and support strategies work best to enhance leadership? Is the time and money spent on leadership development worthwhile? What outcomes can be expected from leadership development? How can leadership development efforts be sustained? This groundbreaking book—which brings together a distinguished list of contributors who share their knowledge and expertise about this important field—will help practitioners and researchers lay a foundation for the open exchange of ideas and put in place the process of application, adaptation, and subsequent learning of leadership development evaluation.


Table of Contents

The Handbook of Leadership Development Evaluation, Jossey-Bass & CCL, 2007

Forward by Laura C. Leviton xi
Preface xiii
Acknowledgements xvii
The Authors xix
Introduction 1

PART ONE: DESIGNING LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT EVALUATIONS 13
1. Experimental and Quasi-Experimental Evaluations 19
2. Leading with Theory: Using a Theory of Change Approach for Leadership Development Evaluations 48
3. EvaluLEAD: An Open-Systems Perspective on Evaluating Leadership Development 71
4. Making Evaluation Work for the Greater Good: Supporting Provocative Possibility and Responsive Praxis in Leadership Development 111
5. Measuring Return on Investment in Leadership Development 137

PART TWO: LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT EVALUATION IN CONTEXT 167
6. Building Leadership Development, Social Justice, and Social Change in Evaluation Through a Pipeline Program 173
7. From the Inside Out: Evaluating Personal Transformation Leadership Efforts 199
8. Evaluating Leadership Development and Organizational Performance 228
9. The Importance of Local Context in Leadership Development and Evaluation 261
10. Evaluating Community Leadership Programs 284
11. Evaluating Leadership as a Strategy to Transform Complex Systems 315
12. Evaluating Leadership Development for Social Change 343
13. Evaluating Youth Leadership Through Civic Activism 377
14. Evaluating Leadership Efforts for Neighborhood Transformation 403

PART THREE: INCREASING IMPACT THROUGH EVALUATION USE 427
15. Strategic Uses of Evaluation 433
16. Evaluation for Planning and Improving Leadership Development Programs: A Framework Based on the Baldrige Education Criteria for Performance Excellence 464
17. Communications in Evaluation: A Systems Approach 487
18. Accelerating Learning About Leadership Development: A Learning Community Approach 511
19. Continuous Learning 536

Afterword: Future Directions for Leadership Development Evaluation 559
Name Index 575
Subject Index 579
About the Center for Creative Leadership 604



http://www.ccl.org/leadership/forms/publications/publicationProductDetail.aspx?pageId=1263&productId=0-7879-8217-2

The Reina Trust & Betrayal Model®

Transactional Trust™—What Builds Trust



The Reina Trust & Betrayal Model® defines trust as Transactional Trust™. Trust is reciprocal—you have to give it to get it—and it is built incrementally, step-by-step over time. There are three types of Transactional Trust: Contractual Trust™ which is the Trust of Character; Communication Trust™ which is the Trust of Disclosure; and Competence Trust™ which is the Trust of Capability.

Contractual Trust™ sets the tone and direction for your company and shapes roles and responsibilities. Communication Trust™ establishes open information flow and how people respectfully talk with one another. Competence Trust™ allows individuals to leverage and further develop their skills, abilities, and knowledge.

We have identified sixteen behaviors that build Transactional Trust™ and they lay the foundation for effective relationships, trustworthy leadership, and strategic performance. Consistent practice of these behaviors in your organization creates an environment where people want to produce and gives the organization a competitive advantage.


Betrayal—What Breaks Trust



The Reina Trust & Betrayal Model® defines betrayal as a breach of trust or the perception of a breach of trust.




Betrayal occurs along a continuum from major to minor and may be intentional or unintentional. Our model helps people see that it is not just the big things that break trust. Small things break trust and they add up!

People feel betrayed when others fail to do what they say they will do, take credit for work they did not perform, micromanage others’ efforts, use information for their own gain, spin the truth rather than tell it like it is, talk about others behind their back, focus on trying to make themselves look good, and violate confidentiality; people feel betrayed when they are held back from opportunities for advancement and are not included in decisions, particularly those that have an impact on them.

Nine out of ten people experience gossip and backbiting in the workplace! It is the number one destroyer of Communication Trust™!


The Seven Steps for Healing™—How to Rebuild Trust



The Seven Steps for Healing™ serve as a framework for working through the pain and frustration of betrayal to rebuild trust and realign responsibilities. We’ll briefly explore each step here. Although we talk about the steps in numerical order, people should understand that the process of healing is not linear. You may work through more than one step at a time and may circle back through particular steps. 

Step 1: Observe and acknowledge what has happened to break trust and the impact of that break on you and your relationships. When you are betrayed, you experience a loss: the loss of a relationship, the loss of a role, the loss of an opportunity—in short, the loss of what was or the loss of what could have been. You may have experienced an accumulative loss, such as multiple restructurings. Or you may experience a single event that causes significant loss, such as someone’s stealing your ideas for a presentation and benefiting from them. For healing to take place, you need to acknowledge the loss.

Step 2: Allow the feelings to surface, to be heard, and to be understood. When you experience betrayal, you feel emotions: pain, anger, or confusion, among others. The emotions stemming from betrayal are powerful, and the Seven Steps encourage you to honor those emotions. Expressing your feelings allows you to actually begin to “work through” the betrayal, and supports the healing process.

Step 3: Get support to help you understand what happened and how you have been affected and to explore how you want to respond. Some people may choose to remain bitter and resentful and to assume the posture of a victim. Support helps you shift from blaming to problem solving—shift from being “the victim” to taking responsibility for yourself, your job, and your life. Everyone needs support from others to grow from an experience of betrayal.

Step 4: Reframe the experience. This is an important aspect of the healing process. In reframing you use your hurt and pain as stepping stones. You consider the bigger picture, extenuating circumstances, and the underlying meaning of the experience. You reflect on how to your understanding of yourself, and consider what you have learned about relationships.

Step 5: Take responsibility for the experience by looking at what part you may have played in what happened. You are not responsible for what was done to you, but you are responsible for how you choose to respond. You take responsibility when you consider what you could have done differently and what actions you can take now to change the situation.

Step 6: Forgive yourself and others by asking, “What needs to happen for forgiveness to take place?” You seek to feel compassion for both the individual who betrayed you and for yourself. You try to understand how this betrayal occurred. This does not mean excusing the offending behavior. You are clear that you feel that what was done was “wrong,” and you observe how the betrayal has affected you. You identify the feelings—hurt, anger, resentment, and fear—that accompany the betrayal, and decide that you want to release yourself from the burden of carrying those feelings.

Step 7: Let go and move on by asking what needs to be said or done to put this experience behind you. This is the action step. You let go of the feelings that keep pulling you back to the betrayal. You do not forget the betrayal or fail to protect yourself from further betrayals. There is a difference between remembering and “hanging on” and remembering so as to help yourself and others by drawing on the lessons learned. You acknowledge that you are in control of your reactions and choose to react in a way that supports you. You look forward rather than backward.

Transformative Trust™—How to Sustain Trust



When people practice Transactional Trust™ behaviors consistently, trust reaches a critical point: it increases exponentially and becomes self-generating and synergistic. We call this Transformative Trust™.

There are four core characteristics that must be present to support Transformative Trust™: conviction, courage, compassion, and community. For instance, you must hold the conviction that trusting relationships are vital if you are to pay attention to trust in the first place. You need courage to practice trust-building behaviors, such as admitting a mistake and telling the truth. You need compassion to give feedback in the spirit of support rather than criticism, and you need a perspective of community to be aware of the needs of others rather than merely acting solely in your own best interest.

The core characteristics of Transformative Trust™ help people practice trust-building behaviors consistently. Transformative Trust™ in your organization energizes relationships and transforms your business culture!

http://www.reinatrustbuilding.com/index.php?contentId=154

The Trust Factor
By Brian Friel
bfriel@nationaljournal.com
February 22, 2006

One strength of many federal workplaces is the camaraderie -- and even sense of family -- among co-workers. When feds retire, they invariably say that what they'll miss most is the people.

What makes personal ties so strong among federal workers? One factor has to be the public service mission they share. Another is probably their staying power. During those long careers, many feds spend almost as much time with each other as they do with their families.

Those two factors create a deep sense of trust in many federal offices. And trust, as organizational psychologists and relationship advisers would agree, is the backbone of any relationship, personal or professional. Strong organizations and managers "know it's the people that really count," says Michelle Reina, who -- with her husband and partner, Dennis, of Chagnon & Reina Associates in Stowe, Vt. -- advises federal agencies and other organizations on building trust. "It's the people and the relationships that get the work done. Business is conducted through relationships."

That's a fairly obvious point to most managers, but it's one worth remembering. A common complaint among employees in many organizations, including government agencies, is they don't know what's going on. They lack information.

In the absence of information, they do what anyone would do: They guess. In offices where trust is weak, it's natural for people deprived of information to assume the worst, so they develop distrust of their managers and spread false rumors. They become less productive, or less interested in their jobs. They check out.

Keeping employees in the know is just one daily relationship responsibility for managers. The Reinas advise managers to be mindful of how each of their actions affects their relationships with employees. Do managers do what they say they're going to do? Do they deal with poor performers? Do they reward and recognize good performance? It is the small, day-to-day things that build trust - or lead to a sense of betrayal among employees.

In offices with trust problems, it's usually the mundane issues that weaken employee-manager relationships. "What's eroding trust are not the big, big things; it's the little things that happen every day," Michelle Reina says. "They accumulate."

For example, a manager who doesn't deal with one poor performer might discover employees developing a skewed image of reality. "A trust issue can distort our perceptions," Reina says. "There can be one nonperforming employee in our unit and the dynamic surrounding that can be so dysfunctional that we no longer see one nonperforming employee. We see all kinds of people not performing, and they're all getting away with quote-unquote murder. It becomes distorted."

Good managers are mindful of a simple fact: They are in relationships with their employees. And relationships require tending. Managers who fulfill their relationship responsibilities will have more informed, and more productive, employees.

Those who aren't mindful could find themselves stuck in a negative feedback loop, in which a manager's action or inaction leaves employees feeling betrayed, so they don't perform well. Or they might even undermine their bosses, making the manager feel betrayed, so he withholds information from the employees, who then begin to assume the manager is working against them.

"There are two very important truths around trust," Michelle Reina says. "Trust begets trust and betrayals beget betrayals."


http://www.govexec.com/dailyfed/0206/022206mm.htm

Trust Makes Organizations Work™

People need trust to do their jobs. It is at the heart of effective working relationships and employee engagement. In a trusting workplace, people…

Ö Take pride in their work
Ö Are willing to take risks
Ö Collaborate more freely
Ö Are committed to innovation
Ö Treat customers better
Ö Focus on results
Ö WANT to produce!



Why? Because business is conducted through relationships, and effective relationships are based on a solid foundation of trust. Trust Building® is not just a nice thing to do—it’s crucial. It’s sound business!

Make Trust Building® Your Competitive Advantage

Trust is something that everyone wants, but it is rare that people can agree on what trust is and how it is built. The Reina Trust Building Institute offers solutions that make building trust simple, practical, and behavioral. Trust becomes concrete and measurable. The behavioral steps to improve and sustain trust become clear.

"Every leader knows that superior team results depend on an atmosphere of respect and trust. The Reinas are two people I can really trust to help build a successful climate in the workplace.”

—Carol S. Cohen, Vice President, American Express

Leading Yourself: Individual Leader Development

The ability to understand one's strengths and development needs is the foundation of effective leadership. An important aspect of this is the intrapersonal capability to be effective in leadership roles. There are CCL publications that will help you develop each of the following intrapersonal competencies:

Developing Adaptability
Increasing Self-Awareness
Managing Yourself
Increasing Your Capacity to Learn
Exhibiting Leadership Stature
Displaying Drive and Purpose
Demonstrating Ethics and Integrity

http://www.ccl.org/leadership/publications/leadingYourself.aspx

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Adaptability: Responding Effectively to Change, CCL Press, 2006
Allan Calarco and Joan Gurvis

In today's business world, the complexity and pace of change can be daunting. Adaptability is a necessary skill for leaders to develop in order to respond effectively to this change. This guidebook contributes to a greater understanding of adaptability and the cognitive, emotional, and dispositional flexibility it requires. Leaders will learn how to develop their own adaptability and to foster it in others, thereby becoming more effective for themselves, the people they lead, and their organizations.

TOC = Adaptability: Responding Effectively to Change, CCL Press, 2006

What Is Adaptability?
Why Adaptability Is Important for Leaders
What Are Obstacles to Adaptability?
Stages of Transition
Three Elements of Adaptability
Cognitive Flexibility
Emotional Flexibility
Dispositional Flexibility
Developing Adaptability
Ways to Practice Cognitive Flexibility
Ways to Practice Emotional Flexibility
Ways to Practice Dispositional Flexibility
Adaptability: A Leadership Imperative
Suggested Readings
Background

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The Versatile Leader: Make the Most of Your Strengths - Without Overdoing it, Pfeiffer, An Imprint of Wiley, 2006

Bob Kaplan & Rob Kaiser


In this groundbreaking new book, Bob Kaplan and Rob Kaiser introduce an innovative approach to identifying and correcting lopsidedness in leaders. You will discover how to make optimal use of your strengths and avoid getting trapped in a one-dimensional mindset that results in too much of a good thing. Based on twenty years of research and extensive work with senior leaders, The Versatile Leader is packed with illustrative cases and practical applications. The book is equally useful for self-improvement and for coaching other managers.

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FYI For Your Improvement, Lominger Limited, Inc., 2004
Michael M. Lombardo and Robert W. Eichinger

FYI For Your Improvement (4th Edition) provides step-by-step guidance for anyone who wants to develop new competencies or for anyone working with another person on their development.

Table of Contents

FYI For Your Improvement, Lominger Limited, Inc., 2004

Introduction i
Strategies for Improvement v
General Development Plan xiii
Organization for FYI For Your Improvement xv
Competencies 1
Performance Dimensions 405
Career Stallers and Stoppers 467
Special International Focus Areas 569
Appendix A 614


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Discovering the Leader in You: A Guide to Realizing Your Personal Leadership Potential, Jossey-Bass Publishers, 2001
Robert J. Lee and Sara N. King


Many executives find themselves in leadership roles by default and then discover they are just not personally suited to them. Through examples, exercises, and research results, this book offers an intentional way for leaders, and those who aspire to be, to match leadership roles with their personal preferences and capabilities.

Table of Contents

Discovering the Leader in You: A Guide to Realizing Your Personal Leadership Potential, Jossey-Bass Publishers, 2001

Preface xi
The Authors xvii
1. Where Does Leadership Fit in Your life 1
2. Consider the Current Realities and Expectations 17
3. Ground Your Leadership Vision in Personal Vision 31
4. Base Your Leadership Values on Personal Values 55
5. Get to Know Yourself as a Leader 71
6. Balance Your Work Life and Your Personal Life 101
7. Take Steps Toward Self-Aware Leadership 135
Appendix A: Program Participant Questionnaire 153
Appendix B: Leadership Resources 155
References 161
Index 165


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Preparing for Development: Making the Most of Formal Leadership Programs, CCL Press, 2001
Jennifer Martineau and Ellie Johnson

If you are scheduled to participate in a leadership development program, or if you're considering such a program, you can substantially increase the benefits to yourself and to your organization by preparing for the development experience. This guidebook will show you how to prepare yourself and how you can help prepare your colleagues and your work environment to make the most of a formal development program.

Table of Contents

Preparing for Development: Making the Most of Formal Leadership Programs, CCL Press, 2001

Why Prepare for a Leadership Development Program? 7
Preparing Your Expectations 8
Preparing Your Motivation 15
Preparing Your Workplace 20
Turning Lessons into Leadership 27
Suggested Readings 28
Background 28
Key Point Summary 29
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Choosing an Executive Coach, CCL Press, 2001
Karen Kirkland Miller and Wayne Hart


As managers move higher in an organization, it can be more difficult for them to get accurate and unbiased input about their performance and leadership skills. Many recognize that to focus their personal development plans they need the uninterrupted time and attention of a skilled, objective professional - an executive coach. This guidebook is for managers who are considering executive coaching as a tool in their personal leadership development. It describes what executive coaching is and can help them decide whether coaching is appropriate. Readers will also learn how to locate and select a qualified coach with the professional and personal credentials and characteristics that can help them achieve their goals.


Table of Contents

Choosing an Executive Coach, CCL Press, 2001

What Is Executive Coaching? 7
Does Executive Coaching Meet Your Needs? 8
Evaluating an Executive Coach 13
Where to Find a Coach 19
Choosing Your Coach Checklist 21
Suggested Readings 22
Background 23
Key Point Summary 25

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Building Resiliency: How to Thrive in Times of Change, CCL Press, 2001
Mary Lynn Pulley and Michael Wakefield


It is sometimes hard to accept change - particularly when it is delivered as a hardship, disappointment, or rejection. But by developing resiliency managers can not only accept change, but learn, grow, and thrive in it. This guidebook defines resiliency, explains why it's important, and describes how you can develop your own store of resiliency. It focuses on nine developmental components that, taken together, create a sense of resiliency and increase your ability to handle the unknown and to view change - whether from disappointment or success - as an opportunity for development.


Table of Contents

Building Resiliency: How to Thrive in Times of Change, CCL Press, 2001

What is Resiliency? 7
Why is Resiliency Important? 9
Becoming Resilient 9
Resiliency Worksheet 22
Suggested Readings 24
Background 24
Key Point Summary 25

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Using Your Executive Coach, CCL Press, 2001
E. Wayne Hart and Karen Kirkland


Managers who are considering a developmental plan that calls for an executive coach need more than a desire to improve their leadership capabilities. They also need to understand how to get the most from their work with a professional coach. This guidebook can help managers understand the unique nature of a coaching engagement and to assess their readiness to embark on this method of professional development. It describes the three main elements of a coaching engagement - assessment, challenge, and support - and provides information on how a manager can collaborate with a coach in each of these aspects to get the maximum benefits from coaching.



Table of Contents

Using Your Executive Coach, CCL Press, 2001

What Is Executive Coaching? 7
Getting Ready for an Executive Coach 7
Establishing the Coaching Relationship 9
Working with Your Executive Coach 11
Using Your Coach for Assessment
Using Your Coach for Challenge
Using Your Coach for Support
Handling a Resistance to Coaching 21
Building on the Coaching Relationship 24
Suggested Readings 27
Background 28
Key Point Summary 30

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Ongoing Feedback: How to Get It, How to Use It, CCL Press, 1998
Karen Kirkland and Sam Manoogian


Formal feedback experiences and career transitions both involve acquiring new skills and honing current ones. Critical to this is measuring progress. This guidebook provides a proven technique on how to get and use the feedback that will help. Tips on how to evaluate the feedback and what to do if the decision is made not to use it are also provided.


Table of Contents

Ongoing Feedback: How to Get It, How to Use It, CCL Press, 1998

How to Get Feedback 7
Who to Ask for It
When to Ask for It
How to Ask for It
How to Use It 16
Make Sure You Evaluate It
Do These Things If You Decide Not to Use It
Practice Makes Permanent 18
Feedback Checklist 19
Suggested Readings 20
Background 20
Key Point Summary 22

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Becoming a More Versatile Learner, CCL Press, 1998
Maxine A. Dalton


On-the-job experiences are crucial for managerial development, and managers learn the most when they approach them with a variety of learning tactics. Of the four most commonly used tactics - feeling, action, thinking, and accessing others - people typically employ only one or two, thus limiting their learning and eventually their performance. This guidebook describes the four tactics in detail, giving examples of how they can be used. It also provides information on how to identify preferred tactics and how to develop nonpreferred ones.



Table of Contents

Becoming a More Versatile Learner, CCL Press, 1998

Introduction 7
The Four Sets of Learning Tactics 8
Feeling Tactics
Action Tactics
Thinking Tactics
Accessing-others Tactics
Finding the Baseline 13
What Are Your Preferred Learning Tactics?
Benefits and Problems with Your Preferred Tactics
Becoming a More Versatile Learner 19
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Expand Your Learning Tactics
Conclusion: Setting a Learning Strategy 23
Suggested Readings 24
Background 24
Key Point Summary 26

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Using an Art Technique to Facilitate Leadership Development, CCL Press, 1995
Cheryl De Ciantis


The author, a trainer in the Center's LeaderLab program, presents her experiences in creating and conducting the touchstone exercise, an activity in which participants are asked to create sculptures that represent their vision and purpose as leaders. This report describes the touchstone exercise and contains case studies of individuals who created touchstones, how they used them, and what effect the exercise has had on their work and personal lives.


Table of Contents

Using an Art Technique to Facilitate Leadership Development, CCL Press, 1995

Acknowledgments vii
Foreword ix
Preface xi
Introduction 1
The Touchstone Exercise 1
The Context: An Action-oriented Leadership Development Program 1
The Exercise 3
Setting the stage 3
Conducting the touchstone 3
Participants’ experiences 4
Case No. 1 6
Case No. 2 8
Discussion 9
Effectiveness of the Touchstone Exercise: The LeaderLab Impact Study 10
How the Exercise Has Changed Over Time 13
Common Themes in Touchstone Representations 14
Touchstone Lessons Used on the Job 15
The Touchstone Exercise as a Story 17
Resistance to Artistic Activities 19
The Use of Nontraditional Classroom Components in Development Programs 21
The Role of the Artist 21
The Role of Emotions 22
The Role that Program Configuration Plays in the Effectiveness of Nontraditional Components 23
Transferability 24
Art and Leadership 24
Note 27
References 29
Appendix A: LeaderLab Program Content and Structure 31
The LeaderLab Model 31
Learning to Learn and a Sense of Purpose 32
Program Structure 32
Intervention over time 32
Program activities in an action-oriented leadership program 33
Multiple sessions 33
Process advisor 33
Change partners 33
Diversity of participants and trainers 34
Traditional learning activities 34
Nontraditional learning activities: art, acting, and sculpting 34
Appendix B: Conducting the Touchstone Exercise 36
Introducing the Exercise 36
Facilitating the Exercise 37
Debriefing the Exercise: Sharing the Story 39
Practical Considerations 39
Physical space 39
Exercise preparations 40
Suggested materials 40
Construction materials and tools 41
Packing materials 42
Packing 42
Appendix C: Touchstone Stories—A Sample from One Group 43
Appendix D: Examples of Artistic Methods Used in Organizations 58

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Making Common Sense: Leadership as Meaning-Making in a Community of Practice, CCL Press, 1994
Wilfred H. Drath and Charles J. Palus


This report suggests that leadership can be looked at as a process in which people engaged in a common activity create shared knowledge and ways of knowing.


Table of Contents

Making Common Sense: Leadership as Meaning-Making in a Community of Practice, CCL Press, 1994

Acknowledgements vii
Preface ix
Introduction 1
Discussion of Terms 7
People in Positions of Authority: A New View of Five Concepts 13
Implications: So What Is Leadership Development? 21
Conclusion: Changing Constructs of Leadership 23
Bibliography 26

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

When Things Go Wrong

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;

So don’t give up, though the pace seems slow -
For you may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it
seems to a fain and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup.
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure, turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

Anonymous


Insights with Steve Mercer

1. How did you get into the executive development field? What recommendations would you have for someone who is early in their career in executive development?

I got into the field by accident. I was a marketing manager who attended an in-house marketing course and gave it a bad evaluation. My reward was to be assigned to "fix" the course. After working on marketing education programs, I branched out into finance education and then executive education, working on global business driven action learning programs. I found that I really enjoyed the work, and made a career change from Marketing Manager to Executive Education Manager. As for recommendations, my key one is "understand the business, understand finance, and be able to communicate in the language of business". As an executive education professional, you will be interacting with high level leadership in your company. They want to be confident that you are a business person who understands their issues, and will relate your executive education initiatives to the business opportunities and problems facing the company.

2. Over your career, what changes and trends have you noticed in terms of how executives and senior managements are developed?
There is an increasing recognition that on-the-job experiences are crucial to management development, that "OJT" needs to be consciously planned, and that there needs to be a link between job assignments and formal educational programs. There has been a significant shift towards bringing more real business problems into the formal classroom setting, integrating them with the desired learning objectives, and using "learning by doing" to solidify the accomplishment of formal learning objectives. In addition, many companies now realize the value of bringing their own high level execs in as discussion facilitators. This creates a unique opportunity for "you learn and I learn", as well as building credibility and improved communication of strategic objectives.

3. What is the single most important resource (book, article, simulation, action learning activity etc.) in the executive development that you have used?
There are really two important items:

Free play, competitive, highly realistic, total immersion business simulations coupled with observation, after action reviews, and immediate feedback/coaching. In these simulations, people "default" to their normal on-the-job behavior, and can get immediate feedback to work on improving in developmental areas strengthening positive characteristics.

Business Driven Action Learning, which brings live problems into the class room and provides significant opportunities for participants to gain an outside-in perspective through dialogues with customers, suppliers, partners and other stakeholders.

4. You have worked with a number of different business schools over your career- in your view which are offering the most innovative types of programs today?
I don't like to make recommendations, since things change in this area relatively frequently. Instead, I would suggest that you look for business schools that are willing to spend some time with you in understanding your specific issues, instead of telling you to come to an open market "one size fits all" program. Although, surprisingly, most companies face the same major issues, it improves credibility with your executive audiences if the faculty can speak from your perspective and use relevant examples and analogies.

5. Let's imagine that you have been asked to present to a board of directors the plan for developing their organization's top management, and one of the board members challenges you by claiming that management development at this level is a waste of everyone's time. How would you respond?
Practice makes permanent. At the top management level, there is, frankly, a lot of risk aversion because whether people will admit it or not, they are "running for office", and a single failure can be career threatening. High level managers need a practice field which will not derail their career, and that means formal development experiences which allow for risk free experimentation. Further, at high levels there is an increasing need for exposure to outside thinking and global trends, since there is much more interaction with external stakeholders, and a much higher impact of what I call "second and third order consequences" of decisions.

6. Can you name a few really dynamic speakers you have brought in to augment a program on executive development?
Again, this is an area where I don't like to make "by name" suggestions without knowing the context. As in selecting a business school to work with, I feel it is critical to select faculty who are willing to spend some time learning your specific business context and issues. Too often, companies turn to high priced so-called "gurus" as "box office draws" to bring a false sense of credibility to their programs, and two weeks later no one can remember what the point was. In many cases they would be better served using internal executives in a real give-and-take.

7. You have been known to utilize innovative approaches to management development- drawing on things like simulations and live theatre. Why are these approaches so effective, and do you expect more of the industry will utilize such services?
I firmly believe that experience is the best teacher. The more you can internalize the learning - to feel it viscerally - the more likely you are to retain it. Talk is cheap, action is everything, so "living it" is infinitely better than "talking about it". Free play, interactive simulations and live improvisational role play offer the closest experiences to reality in which to practice and internalize key concepts, experiment with new ideas and approaches, and make real progress in developing new capabilities. I expect more companies to accept and utilize these approaches in the future.

8. What do you think about conducting ROI for executive development programs? Can this be done? Should it be done?
This is always the $64,000 Question and as a person originally trained as an engineer, who used controlled experiments, it can never be answered to the satisfaction of the purist. However there are ways to measure impact. The question I always ask first is "What constitutes Goodness?" Before you can measure ROI, you need to know what factors you want to impact, and what indicates a favorable movement. For example, some companies compare "dollars per employee spent on training" versus peer companies. To me, this is a useless metric, since spending more does not mean you are necessarily doing better. Measuring improved personal productivity or improved performance per training dollar is a much more meaningful approach. This can be done if the parameters are agreed on with management in advance.

9. What key ingredient is most often overlooked by executive development professionals as they are planning programs?
The use of their own key executives as facilitators and discussion leaders. I am not talking about execs making pitches - I am suggesting real discussion and interaction. At GE, we built our entire top level Executive Development Course around two weeks of half day interactions with the members of the Corporate Executive Council. It turned out to be one of the most powerful developmental experiences we offered - not only for the participants, but also for the CEC members who learned as much as they taught.

10. How will executive development be different in the future?
The best companies will recognize that 99% of development occurs on the job, and that the most effective approach to executive development will combine job assignments, succession planning, and formal educational programs. Individuals will have targeted developmental programs which integrate these three elements. Formal education experiences for executives will be more experiential, include more real problem solving of contemporary business issues, and will include elements of "Learning accountability" to assure application upon return to work.


Steve Mercer

Bio in brief:
President, SRM Consulting

Vice President, Learning and Leadership Development, Boeing Company

Manager, Executive Education, General Electric Company, Crotonville

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Growth Strategies Might Determine Direction of Leadership Development Activity
Kellye Whitney

“One Size Doesn’t Fit All,” a recent global survey of more than 300 C-level executives conducted by the Forum Corp., found most growth initiatives succeed or fail at the business-unit level. These particular leaders have the biggest impact on an organization’s day-to-day activities, yet they are not often the recipients of targeted leadership learning opportunities.

The survey identified three different types of organizational growth: mergers and acquisitions, organic growth and growth through strategic alliance. Regardless of growth type or who made the decision to pursue a growth-related strategy, it often falls to business unit leaders to put the details together and make them work.

Thus, to increase success rates, this population ideally should receive specialized leadership development programs created with an organization’s growth strategy in mind.

“CLOs really need to understand that organizational growth (which is still one of the key priorities CEOs say is a challenge for them) is achieved through different means,” said Ronan Knox, Forum Corp. executive vice president. “If you aren’t developing your people to take into account the differences between what you need to do to drive organic growth versus strategic alliances versus mergers and acquisitions, you’re probably not developing the talent as acutely as you need to for success.”

Knox said the context in which an organization drives growth varies according to strategy. For example, an organization driving organic growth has different needs and considerations than one driving growth through mergers and acquisitions. Thus, the skills leaders need also are different.

“The first thing CLOs should be thinking about is, ‘Am I really looking through the lens of growth at the plans I’ve got for developing people? Am I actually reflecting the different challenges of different growth strategies in the competency frameworks that I’m developing internally?’ The answer is probably no. What they have are a series of general leadership capabilities but not necessarily the sort of understanding of what’s different about leadership in different contexts.”

To clarify which skills are needed and what learning will provide them, CLOs should identify the key practices that differ among effective leaders in different growth strategy situations.

“For example, in mergers and acquisitions, one of the critical things is being able to bridge differences in style, in values, in processes and in cultures between the two organizations being put together,” Knox explained. “As a result, the second key characteristic in mergers and acquisitions is being highly adaptable and being able to deal with ambiguity because you always find surprises in a merger. They’re typically put together for financial reasons, but the reality is it works if you really address the people issues. That’s true with mergers and acquisitions and less true in organic growth, where you have an existing culture and set of values, so you don’t have to have the same emphasis on pulling things together.”

Knox said if all CLOs do is put together a general leadership development program, they likely are not providing learning that will give people the acute understanding required to successfully manage different growth-related situations. Instead, he recommends learning leaders assess their current talent through what he calls “the lens of growth.”

“Do you really understand what kind of DNA you already have in those business unit leaders so that when you start looking at new growth scenarios, you know where you’re starting from?" he said. "Apply this lens of growth to all that you do and think about the different job and action learning experiences you can give people as they develop in your organization to provide them with practical experiences from growth scenarios.&r

Kellye Whitney is a managing editor for Chief Learning Officer magazine.

http://www.clomedia.com/executive-briefings/2007/August/1924/index.php

Growth Strategies Might Determine Direction of Leadership Development Activity
Kellye Whitney

“One Size Doesn’t Fit All,” a recent global survey of more than 300 C-level executives conducted by the Forum Corp., found most growth initiatives succeed or fail at the business-unit level. These particular leaders have the biggest impact on an organization’s day-to-day activities, yet they are not often the recipients of targeted leadership learning opportunities.

The survey identified three different types of organizational growth: mergers and acquisitions, organic growth and growth through strategic alliance. Regardless of growth type or who made the decision to pursue a growth-related strategy, it often falls to business unit leaders to put the details together and make them work.

Thus, to increase success rates, this population ideally should receive specialized leadership development programs created with an organization’s growth strategy in mind.

“CLOs really need to understand that organizational growth (which is still one of the key priorities CEOs say is a challenge for them) is achieved through different means,” said Ronan Knox, Forum Corp. executive vice president. “If you aren’t developing your people to take into account the differences between what you need to do to drive organic growth versus strategic alliances versus mergers and acquisitions, you’re probably not developing the talent as acutely as you need to for success.”

Knox said the context in which an organization drives growth varies according to strategy. For example, an organization driving organic growth has different needs and considerations than one driving growth through mergers and acquisitions. Thus, the skills leaders need also are different.

“The first thing CLOs should be thinking about is, ‘Am I really looking through the lens of growth at the plans I’ve got for developing people? Am I actually reflecting the different challenges of different growth strategies in the competency frameworks that I’m developing internally?’ The answer is probably no. What they have are a series of general leadership capabilities but not necessarily the sort of understanding of what’s different about leadership in different contexts.”

To clarify which skills are needed and what learning will provide them, CLOs should identify the key practices that differ among effective leaders in different growth strategy situations.

“For example, in mergers and acquisitions, one of the critical things is being able to bridge differences in style, in values, in processes and in cultures between the two organizations being put together,” Knox explained. “As a result, the second key characteristic in mergers and acquisitions is being highly adaptable and being able to deal with ambiguity because you always find surprises in a merger. They’re typically put together for financial reasons, but the reality is it works if you really address the people issues. That’s true with mergers and acquisitions and less true in organic growth, where you have an existing culture and set of values, so you don’t have to have the same emphasis on pulling things together.”

Knox said if all CLOs do is put together a general leadership development program, they likely are not providing learning that will give people the acute understanding required to successfully manage different growth-related situations. Instead, he recommends learning leaders assess their current talent through what he calls “the lens of growth.”

“Do you really understand what kind of DNA you already have in those business unit leaders so that when you start looking at new growth scenarios, you know where you’re starting from?" he said. "Apply this lens of growth to all that you do and think about the different job and action learning experiences you can give people as they develop in your organization to provide them with practical experiences from growth scenarios.&r

Kellye Whitney is a managing editor for Chief Learning Officer magazine.

http://www.clomedia.com/executive-briefings/2007/August/1924/index.php

Seven Simple Principles Might Contribute to Group Work Success
Kellye Whitney

Imagine a 12-year-old saying or writing something so readily applicable to the business environment, it made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Dick Eaton, LeapFrog Innovations chief energizing officer, said this was his experience after stumbling across a paper in his son Alex’s social studies folder.

The heading on the paper read, “How can we make group work successful?” Beneath it were seven bullet points: share ideas, work together, share work evenly, listen well, follow the golden rule, stay on task and be accepting.

Apparently, Alex deals with the material all the time in class as to reinforce key things that will help make his classmates’ group projects successful. Eaton has since adopted the seven principles into his business.

“He blew it off as no big deal, but I borrowed the paper, and I thought about it for a couple of days,” Eaton said. “It resonated with all of the work that I’ve been doing in this business for 13 years and in my other business for six years before that. So, basically, for 20 years of my life, this is what I’ve been trying to bring to the world.”

Eaton said the principles neatly sum up the work he does with clients working to facilitate team building or to create a certain kind of corporate culture in which employees behave, interact and (perhaps most important) collaborate in ways that really makes an impact on the business.

“It’s super simple, but really it’s the essence of what our clients are doing and striving for in their organizations,” Eaton said. “For instance, John Hailer, CEO of Natixis, has a very clear idea of what kind of culture he wants the organization to have. It’s very contrary to the normal financial services culture, which is very much about ‘me’ —what can I earn, how much money can I make and how can I look out for myself?

“As the company has grown, John called on us to help with many of their most significant meetings and employee conferences to basically make it a different place to work. When I was talking about the way this resonates with me, he said, ‘This resonates with our corporate culture and what we’re trying to do here around people. We’re different — we don’t allow meanness in this company, we don’t allow lying. We’re all about people actually collaborating.’”

The concept of group work is particularly relevant to CLOs because of the impact learning and development can have on behavioral change. Eaton said employees might not even know they’re resistant to change, but companies still look to the learning organization to create business impact.

“Really believe in the power of people connected and collaborating because it’s people who make remarkable things happen within your organization,” Eaton said. “It’s not so much the re-engineering and the spreadsheets and the infrastructure — it’s really the people who make remarkable things happen. That’s the essence of what this paper meant. It’s all about ‘How can you help people collaborate? How can you give them the tools to do it?’”

Eaton said real change begins with a shift in attitude or orientation. People should be open and see one another in a way that expresses their willingness to work collaboratively, whether it’s in a cross-cultural team or across business functions.

“That’s the biggest trend or emphasis in the (learning) industry and in our business,” he said. “How do you help people work better across boundaries? How do you get people to be willing to share information and share best practices and mine all that knowledge that’s in the company?”

Jim Knight, Hard Rock International senior director of training and development, said his organization already has adopted many of the seven group work principles. With the exception of following the golden rule, he said they would work well for an organization looking to reinvent its culture or foster better teamwork relationships.

“Follow the golden rule is an interesting concept, but it might have some religious undertones to it, not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he explained. “It’s a natural principle, kind of universally accepted, but it could also be a detriment if somebody thought, ‘Jeez, somebody’s trying to mix religion and business.’ Some might not want that or think that’s successful or smart.”

Knight said many of the principles seem to hinge on communication, which he described as a bridge or a dam to successful leadership. Principles such as listen well and share ideas require that participants really listen and not just hear what their teammates say, as well as trust that peers can contribute something valuable.

“Be accepting is a great one in our company,” Knight said. “At Hard Rock, individuality is truly celebrated, and it’s not just the way that someone looks aesthetically. We are going to have some tattooed, pierced, mohawked people out there but also people who are diverse in their thoughts and actions. We celebrate the fact that people see things differently.

“I’ve been here 16-and-a-half years. I head up our entire training and development for hotels, casinos, cafes, live music venues — the whole kit and caboodle. You look at the type of culture that’s created. I’ve never done any drugs, I’ve never smoked and I’ve never even tasted alcohol, and I’m about to be a 40-year-old guy. Yet, I’m accepted in the company. Unless I tell people, they would assume differently because I’m out there, hanging with everybody till all hours of the night, and I like live music, have spiky hair, a goatee and piercings. We’re not using these exact terms, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it. It’d be interesting to say, ‘Why not make all of business work around these concepts?’&rd

Kellye Whitney is a managing editor for Chief Learning Officer magazine.

http://www.clomedia.com/executive-briefings/2007/September/1922/index.php

Leading Change: Capture, Communicate, Personalize

Fred Harburg

When speaking about the uncertainties of the future, Winston Churchill said, “The further backward you look, the further forward you can see.” Churchill advised us to gain wisdom from experience so we can avoid past mistakes. If you accept his premise, then you will need to do three things to apply his prescription to your organization: capture, communicate and personalize.

Capture the Lessons of the Past
Two years into the startup of Saturn Corp., the fledgling company faced a crisis: Immense external competitive pressures; unexpected technical delays; on-again, off-again support from General Motors; and emotionally charged, divergent, internal views and resulted in low morale and ambiguity. Without a significant change, our chances for a successful new- car launch were remote at best.

It was clear that a shared mission was an indispensable prerequisite to create a compelling case for change. Unfortunately, as with most mission statements, ours had only a marginal influence on Saturn associates’ efforts and attitudes.

We decided to engage key stakeholders to capture their perceptions of how the decision to create Saturn was made. As you might guess, the interviews contained stark differences, but there was also surprising consistency in the stories. We were able to capture a strong core theme on which the majority of interviewees could agree. Where we found evidence supporting unique perspectives, we included them to provide more of the complex texture for the events that led up to the decision to create the company.

Communicate
We were assisted in this process by a remarkable graphics facilitator who began translating the startup story into a 5-feet-by-20-feet timeline mural. The mural’s rich visual detail captured the major events and facts that led up to and followed the decision to create Saturn.

This mural became a powerful communication tool in our campaign to change the culture and practices of the young company, and we used it in a variety of contexts. We had our officers “walk the wall” to tell the Saturn story to new recruits in orientation classes. We used it with our suppliers to help them understand the context for how and why Saturn operated as it did. We used it at business conferences to explain how we came to be.

But most important, we used it with the very people who helped to create it: the key stakeholders. In coming together to create a common picture of our history, these leaders found common ground.

Personalize
If it is important to capture and communicate the context for change, it is equally important to personalize the message at the individual level. The majority of large organizational change efforts are a flop. Additionally, most turnaround efforts usually fail. Although there are many factors that make change efforts challenging, we often stack the deck in favor of the failure with a silly process for communicating the change.

http://www.clomedia.com/strategies/fred-harburg/2007/September/1910/index.php

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The 8 Best Practices of High-Performing Salespeople
Norm Trainor
ISBN: 978-0-471-64528-3
Paperback
228 pages

1. The 8 Best Practices of High-Performing Salespeople

2. What You Want is What You Get

3. Best Practice Number 1: Develop and Utilize a Marketing Plan

4. Best Practice Number 2: Know Your Client

5. Best Practice Number 3: Understand How People Make Decisions

6. Best Practice Number 4: Help Your Prospects and Clients Buy

7. Best Practice Number 5: Create Client Capital

8. Best Practice Number 6: Obtain Introductions

9. Best Practice Number 7: Delegate

10. Best Practice Number 8: Utilize Resources

11. Beyond the 8 Best Practices

http://as.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyTitle/productCd-0471645281,descCd-description.html

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What does it take to become a high-performing salesperson?

This book reveals the eight best practices you need to master in order to become a top producer. The 8 Best Practices of High-Performing Salespeople follows the stories of real sales professionals, relating their experiences and challenges first-hand. The 8 Best Practices of High-Performing Salespeople is like a private coaching session for those who want to increase sales and build lasting value in their business. It offers practical advice and simple strategies from the best in the business, even letting you in on actual situations and conversations. No matter what business you are in, adopting the 8 Best Practices will increase your revenue and allow you to reach your full potential.

"Norm Trainor brings you concrete advice and sheer wisdom on the 'inner game' of sales. Much beyond just learning about breakthrough sales performance from the best in the business, reading this book is like getting private coaching sessions from someone who has mastered how you can constantly surpass yourself in creating client capital."
—Hubert St. Onge, Senior Vice President, Strategic Capabilities, Clarica

"Norm Trainor has proven that he's the master of relationship selling. He has shown how to achieve excellence as a salesperson and, more importantly, how to manage success to become a thriving business owner. This book has value for salespeople wherever they are on their career journey."
—Steve Stacey, Vice President and Director, Nesbitt Burns Inc.

"This book is a must-read for any sales professional who wishes to grow their practice in the future."
—A.A. (Art) Schooley, General Manager, Manulife Financial

"Norm Trainor gives the reader a fast, easy-to-understand journey to success. This book is a must-read for the ambitious salesperson-it is loaded with useful information."
—S. Ross Johnson, Retired President, Canadian Operations, The Prudential Insurance Co. of America

http://as.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyTitle/productCd-0471645281,descCd-description.html

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Norm Trainor began his career as a sales professional in the life insurance business in 1970. In 1975 he left the insurance business to help other salespeople become high performers. He began Wilson Learning Corporation's Canadian operation in 1975 and not only became their managing director, but was also Wilson Learning Corporation's leading salesperson. He is now a principal of the Covenant Group, specializing in salesforce effectiveness, business and practice management and customized learning programs. he has worked with the 20 largest life insurance companies in Canada, the 5 largest banks, and a number of trust companies, mutual funds and securities dealers. In addition, he has worked extensively in the computer, telecommunications, office products and automotive industries. Norm's academic background includes post-graduate work in psychology and the behavioral sciences. He speaks at conferences and seminars around the world and writes regular columns for the Canadian HR Reporter and Investment Executive. He lives in Toronto with his wife Wendy and their three children, Ryan, Shauna and Sloan.


Donald Cowper, a former insurance broker, is now a writer, and coauthor with David Cowper and Andrew Haynes of Mega-Selling. He is also the coauthro with Kevin Guest and Andrew Haynes of Youth Violence: How To Protect Your Kids.


Andrew Haynes, former publisher of The Species Review, a Canadian high-tech magazine, is a writer, and coauthor of Mega-Selling and Youth Violence: How To Protect Your Kids. He lives in Toronto with his wife, Christine.

http://as.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyTitle/productCd-0471645281,descCd-authorInfo.html

An Open Heart-felt Letter Containing My Story To Anyone Who Has Wanted
The Communication Skills That Creates Intimate Relationships, Happiness, And Success In Your Life...

“How To Drill Inside The Mind Of A Former 19 Year Old Anti-Social Loser From Brisbane, Australia Who Had Communication Skills Equal To A Caged Gorilla From His 6 Hour-a-day Computer Gaming Addiction...

...And Discover Step-by-Step How He Transformed Himself Into A Persuasive And Charismatic People Magnet With These 12 Communication Skills Which Attracts Relationships, Happiness, And Success Into His Life For Him.”

If You're Ready To Become A Powerful People Magnet RIGHT NOW, This Might Be The Most Important Letter You'll Ever Read...

From: Joshua Uebergang
Brisbane, Australia
Monday, 24 September 2007
Re: How to Become Successful with People

Dear Friend,

Let me ask you several questions. I'd like you to think VERY CAREFULLY as you read them...

Have you ever wondered why few lucky persons have a personal magnetism that ATTRACTS people and great relationships in their life?

Do you feel your important relationships lack an openness, emotional sharing, and sense of security?

Do you feel if you knew the right people they would dramatically improve your level of SUCCESS and change your life?

Do you have a HOT ONGOING chemistry with your partner and not just the type most people experience temporarily at the start of a relationship?

Have you wanted to get someone to do something and they wouldn't follow your advice? You further tried to persuade the person but were met with more resistance?

Do you feel like some people have all the POWER over you causing you to miss out on what you want? Does it frustrate you when your needs and wants are ignored?

Do you feel some leaders have a great team to work with while you are stuck with lazy and stubborn coworkers?

Do you wish you could have INTERESTING conversations that make you the life of the party?
Would you have stronger and happier relationships if you could begin to make people like you?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then I have some VERY important news to share with you...

The news is I know how you feel and you are not alone.

On top of having personally experienced these, the questions were made from talking to hundreds of people about their communication problems that damage their relationships, happiness, and success.

I've experienced every single one of these confusions, fears, and desires.

Here Is What Happened...

I was a 6 hour-a-day addict to computer games. I was depressed, constantly criticized by loved ones, and socially rejected. My life was based around isolation which meant I had no relationship skills.

The computer addiction GROSSLY affected my emotional well-being. These life-draining emotions only fueled more gaming, more misery, more isolation, more frustration, more failure, and less relationships as anyone who has been in a similar situation knows the negative emotions build on themselves.

I had problems in getting JUST a normal relationship yet alone great relationships and making people like me. I was FAR from becoming a persuasive and charismatic people magnet.

I didn't have the slightest idea on how to make people like me. I thought you either had to look good, be lucky in having a magical connection, people just happened to be nice to you, or hope others as desperate as yourself would settle for who you are.

It SUCKED where I was in life.

It was heartbreaking constantly fighting with family over little issues that meant nothing.

It was depressing when I finally had the courage to talk to someone and I could sense they wanted to get away from me.

I felt like a fish out of water. The frustration, confusion, fear, and anger left me stranded on dry ground.

There were secrets about relationships that I had no clue about. I saw it:
With couples who were extremely happy and charged with passion in their relationship year after year.
In social events where people would hang around this one popular person.
At work where employees loved working under this one leader.
In a family where the children happily talked to their parents about emotional problems.
At a restaurant where a couple at a table had chemistry that anyone nearby could sense.

I was jealous. These "lucky" people had relationships with others that I desperately wanted in my life.

Something was going on at a deeper layer than physical looks and surroundings. The secrets couldn't be seen but they could be felt.

By knowing the secrets of making people like me, my boss and co-workers would be influenced by my personal power at work. Everywhere I would go, people would be accepting of me and want to be with me instead of the constant rejection and powerless life I had.

I wanted to know why some people had a PERSONAL MAGNETISM about them that literally attracted great relationships into their life. I wanted to know what made the relationships they already had better and why their new relationships with people they had just met were so good.

I wanted the skills that would give me the success and happiness I deeply desired. It would give me the power to INFLUENCE people and win their FRIENDSHIP.

My level of PLEASURE and COMFORT would be what others wish they had.

I wasn't just interested in wanting to make people I had met at social events like me. I also wanted to know the secrets that would make friends and family LOVE me more.

How My Relationships Changed Forever

At the time of my despair when I wanted to know the secrets of making people like me, I was enrolled in a management degree at a university in Brisbane, Australia and was attending my first lecture for a course titled Managerial Skills and Communication.

Being frustrated with my unhappiness, little success, bad relationships, and having a low-level of confidence, I still decided to go to the lecture. The first lecture was important as you receive study tips, advice on how the course is structured, and how you can get the most out of the course. I wanted to get the lecture over and done with so I could go home.

The university is huge. It is almost a city within a city. There are clothing shops, hairdressers, and plenty of food stores that I became well acquainted with during the exam periods.

The day was bright with the hot shining sun looking down on me. I was approaching the building where the lecture was about to start. I had the "visual sensation" where you walk towards a room from outside and the room appears black with bright light surrounding its entrance.

I entered the room which was a building by itself. I was amazed at its size. Surely 600 students could be seated in this room.

As I awkwardly made my way to a seat at the back of the lecture room and avoiding eye contact with others because of my shyness, the lecturer started talking. She introduced herself and welcomed us students to the course.

After around 15 minutes of discussion on how to get the most out of the course, the lecturer started teaching communication.

Little did I know that my happiness... my success... my relationships... my life would never be the same again.

The first few pieces of the puzzle had finally fell into place! You could say these were the corner pieces of the puzzle as they gave me the structure and secrets of making people like me. The deep layer hidden before my very eyes for several years was revealed to me, though not in its entirety. It was communication skills.

We interact with people everyday so the QUALITY of our lives is determined by how effectively we communicate with people. It finally become apparent to me that:
Couples were extremely happy and CHARGED with PASSION in their relationship year after year because of their communication skills.
People would hang around this one person at social events because of the popular person's communication skills.
Employees loved working under this one leader because of the leader's communication skills.
Children talked about their problems to parents because of the parents' communication skills.
The couple in public had a HOT chemistry because of their communication skills.

The Tricky Puzzle Wasn’t Put Together...

While this communication skills course cost me $669 to attend had revealed the outline of the puzzle before my very eyes, pieces of human behavior were still jumbled. I received a good understanding of what occurs with communication in relationships, but I still had confusion. The course's recommended readings and the lecturer's explanations were difficult to apply in my life because the information is explained in COMPLEX language.

If you've ever attended a University, Tertiary College, or even read several books on communication skills, you would have experienced the jargon. It is difficult to understand communication when the teachers do not explain it CLEARLY in SIMPLE language you and I understand. A part of this problem comes from some teachers not having enough real-world experience. They understand the skills in their mind but they do not understand the skills in practice. This makes it difficult for the teachers to relate with and clearly explain to their students.

Having my feet placed on the right path towards more happiness, success, better relationships, and a life I wanted, I was thankful yet not satisfied with what I had learned. I had an overall understanding of what it took to get great relationships with future employees, co-workers, family, friends, and my partner, but I didn't have the step-by-step skills that could easily be put into practice.

I set out to solve the secrets of making people like me ONCE AND FOR ALL in a way that is EASY to apply in my life.

I felt like a slave from two thousand years ago grabbing his staff, bags of food, clothing, and other necessities, and heading out towards a big city I had only heard of in an effort to break away from slavery.

I wanted to leave this bondage of a suboptimal life behind as I knew there were greater possibilities ahead. The instinct that sparked the curiosity within me in wanting to know what makes certain individuals "magnetic" and have great relationships, happiness, and success in their life was again edging me on to search for more answers. I wanted to expand on the communication skills I had learned.

I had never set foot in this "big city" which was to make people like me as I had only heard of it from the guidance I had received in the communication skills course.

Maybe you are laughing at me right now because I was far behind your level of communication skills or maybe you too have experienced this problem. It is PETRIFYING.

When you can't even be in the presence of people yet alone say and do the rights things, it feels like you are climbing Mount Everest alone with a pair of old sneakers.

It was my journey, my struggle, my personal fight I had to win. I had to discover the communication secrets of making people like me.

How I Knocked Out The Muhammad Ali Of People Skills

I had problems in getting just a normal relationship yet alone great relationships, making people like me, happiness, and success in my life.

When you are that FAR behind the average person, it feels like a big fight. I felt I was going face-to-face in life's boxing with the Muhammad Ali of people skills.

Nonetheless, here is what I did to put my "gloves" on and get ready for the terrifying fight in front of me. ALL odds were against me in coming out on top because of my "loser-life" past.

Book after book, article after article, and magazine after magazine I read on topics ranging from: starting conversations, stopping fights, getting women attracted to me, healthy relationships, safely expressing my point of view, and becoming a leader. I listened to $397 CD and DVD programs on beliefs, fears, confidence, listening skills, and self understanding to name just a few more topics I absorbed in my mind and most importantly my body as I put the skills to practice.

Years went by. I continued to read. I continued to listen. I continued to observe other people and what communication skills made them successful or unsuccessful in every aspect of their life. I then practiced, made mistakes, changed my communication skills, and practiced again what I had learned.

FINALLY...

After all the pain, suffering, criticism, rejection, inferiority, effort, and discomfort I experienced over the years, I had at last learned the communication secrets of making people like me... at my WILL. I achieved my goal of becoming a persuasive and charismatic people magnet.

If Most Communication Books Were People, They Would Have Been Murdered

I had weeded out the garbage so called "relationship experts", "success coaches", and "counselors" taught who have gone through divorce after divorce and had "average" communication skills themselves.

One example of this is John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. He teaches communication and relationships but did you know he has been married like 5 times? You'd think he would have learned from his first 2-3 marriages right?

A lot of "experts" teach skills that sound good in theory yet they have rarely used them in their own life because the skills do not work well or are difficult to apply.

One of the MOST important lessons I've learned on communication is that you MUST learn from someone who has deeply experienced the skills. What is even better is if the person has struggled MORE than you. The person who has deeply struggled with communication needs to learn more communication skills. This gives the person a better understanding of communication than someone who has more natural abilities.

Having read the books, articles, magazines, academic studies, and then practicing the techniques, learning from my mistakes, and practicing again... I eventually reached a level of SUCCESS in making people like me, being an INSPIRING leader, getting great relationships, and possessing a personal magnetism that made both men and women addicted to my presence.

I had finally transformed myself with the communication secrets I uncovered in my long and painful journey. I went from an anti-social computer gaming addict who had frustrating relationships, constantly argued with family, and couldn't make eye contact with strangers into a persuasive and charismatic PEOPLE MAGNET. This created happiness and success as people wanted to help, love, and support me with what I wanted in life.

I Was Mentally Bruised Yet Another Fight Was About To Breakout! *BAM!* *SMASH!*

A few more months passed as I enjoyed my great relationships, personal magnetism, leadership, and happiness. It appeared to be a normally wonderful day when I was browsing the Internet and came across this quote:

“He helps others most, who shows them how to help themselves.” - A. P. Gouthey

This sent thoughts rushing through my mind. The emotional pain I experienced, the fear, the confusion, and the desire in wanting to know the communication secrets of making people like me that I had at last solved were too large to keep within myself. I wanted to help others and those who I had spoken to who were experiencing the same problems that had made my life miserable.

I made it my next life goal to help others overcome their relationship tragedies and grasp their desires in making people like them that I once had no idea of. The people I was soon to influence would also:
Get a fiery relationship of PASSION that lasts with their partner.
Become an INSPIRING leader that brought about change in other's lives.
Possess personal magnetism that ATTRACTED people and enjoyable relationships into their lives.
And much, much more from the "side effects" of such communication skills like: added happiness, comfort with life, receiving less criticism, being accepted more, and remaining as unique individuals.

I hid in my home for months. Not because I had fallen back to my old, problem-filled life. I was transferring the thousands of lessons and communication secrets I had learned on making people like me from my mind onto paper so other people like yourself would get in on the fun. That's right, it's fun using these communication skills and people around you enjoy it as well.

Here Are Your “Prescribed Pills” From Your Communication Skills Doctor To Give You Great Relationships No Matter Your “Illness”

After living through the emotional suffering, rejection, inferiority, criticism, and discomfort, I began to put the communication secrets of making people like me I had learned over the years down on paper with 400 hours of writing. The end result produced a complete program I'm now going to share with you.

My book is titled "Communication Secrets of Making People Like You: The 12 Principles of Powerful Communication That Instantly Makes You a Persuasive and Charismatic People Magnet" and is part of a complete program on making people like you.

I think and feel I have earned the right to say that if I can go from my anti-social, addicted, fear-filled, sheep-like following behavior, and family-fighting life too becoming a persuasive and charismatic people magnet, THEN SO CAN YOU.

I'll be the first to admit I am no great author or novelist. The program will have some minor flaws as my greatest concern in writing it was to help people like yourself get the step-by-step help necessary to learn the secrets of making people like you that took me years to learn and a lot of AVOIDABLE pain.

The book which is a part of the "communication secrets of making people like you" program that makes you a persuasive and charismatic "people magnet".

The program comes from my experience so you can jump over the failures I had experienced and reach your desired level of success FAST. The program is written in a plain and EASY to understand language unlike the complex books I read in trying to get where I am today.

Having personally taught over one thousand individuals to this day on communication skills using the knowledge I have gained from my painful experiences and reading hundreds of books, close to one thousand articles, magazines, and academic studies on human psychology, behavior, communication, and peak performance, I have gained the know-how of what exactly turns people on and off so you can have better relationships, happiness, and success.

I will take you by the hand as I guide you STEP-BY-STEP through the program. I COMPLETELY set it all out for you in this program. No "stones are left unturned" as I let NOTHING be hidden that changed my life, changed the lives of others I have personally helped, and will change your life.

When I read the quote "He helps others most, who shows them how to help themselves" and I made it my mission to help others discover the communication skills it took my years to find, I meant it.

Unlike the $699 I flushed down the drain in attending the communication course where the skills were difficult to apply, this new program contains communication skills you can IMMEDIATELY start applying to your life.

I know a SIMPLE yet EFFECTIVE program that gets RESULTS is EXACTLY what you are. That is how I've written the program. It is much easier, simple, and effective, learning from these programs then it is from reading complex jargon. Simple + Results Guaranteed = This Program.

You can securely and instantly grab your copy of the program today by clicking here.

Before I tell you about my rock-solid guarantee on the results you will get from the program, I want to share with you what EXACTLY you get in the program:

The 3 Must-Have Foundations You Need To Lay Down That Cement “Magnetic” Communication In Your Life

The complete program to make people like you starts off with the 3 "must-have" foundations that need to be laid down in your life before you experience and get the most out of the 12 communication secrets.

These 3 foundations are by no means "basic fundamentals". They are the foundations to your personal magnetism and NOT just fundamentals. Having cemented these 3 simple yet underestimated foundations in your life, ONLY then do you become ready to take advantage of the communication skills to make people like you. Each foundation and secret will help you become a PERSUASIVE and CHARISMATIC people magnet.

Foundational Secret 1

The first chapter in the book reveals how to get the most out of communication skills - the secret to great relationships and success. You can save time and get relationships, happiness, success, and personal magnetism more rapidly by following the jam-packed advice in this chapter.

“Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success.” - Paul J. Meyer

Here is a free sample of chapter one:
People laughed at me when I told them this shocking relationship prophecy, but 1 painful year later they are begging to me on their knees wanting to know how I predicted their relationship failure - pg. 20
How to make any relationship stronger than a world-class body-builder on steroids - pg. 20
The SINGLE biggest illusion in relationship communication revealed... the deceptive trick your mind is playing on you right now is finally made known - pg. 16
A complete map is given to you detailing all possible paths, including hidden backroads, that affect how people understand what you say (This is your solution if you have ever wondered why people do not understand what you intended to say) - pg. 22
A psychological pill you need to constantly "swallow" as "medicine" to strengthen any ongoing relationship - pg. 15
The disgustingly artificial reality we all live in and how to "free your mind" to escape this natural imprisonment - pg. 14
How watching advertisements lazily in front of the television will improve your relationships (Grab your favorite beverage during this slobby technique and enjoy better communication thanks to television) - pg. 21
The blindfold pulled over your eyes that prevents you from seeing what really goes on in your partner's mind - pg. 16
How you are driving a one-foot knife into your relationships when you "successfully communicate" and clearly express yourself (Women are especially guilty of this killer when they have "the talk" with their man) - pg. 28
How the environment transforms the NICE things you say in a conversation into an UGLY and insulting statement - pg. 21
The hidden connection between riding a bicycle and people to put your relationships in full speed - pg. 24
Why you communicate exactly like a chirping bird begging for food from its mother bird when talking too others - pg. 22
How to become a sponge and absorb over twenty positive messages from others EVEN if they are rude, ignorant, and mean towards you - pg. 22
2 reasons your partner is resistant in communicating with you and how to safely smash down these barriers that destroy love, intimacy, and connection between you two - pgs. 23-24
The difficult balancing act between theory and practicing communication is made stable with this proven formula (Walk this thin rope wrong and your success with people will fall off the cliff) - pgs. 30-31
The "no-brainer" technique that helps get you what you want in your current relationships - pg. 33
At last, the invisible damage you are experiencing from everyone around you is uncovered revealing how to cure this poisonous substance that is destroying your personal life (Scientists say this is more serious than physical damage) - pg. 25
Why you are hammering nail after nail into your relationship by trying to communicate more (This is your DEFINITE answer as to why you are failing EVERY time in getting someone to "open-up" and communicate with you) - pg. 28
The tested, proven, and FOREVER standing principle every husband and wife in a great marriage swear by which applies the glue that sticks their marriage together (The proven principle behind any wonderful and lasting relationship) - pg. 20
The "silent messages" being communicated that people overlook in a conversation (Miss a single "silent message" and you are flushing a great relationship down the toilet) - pg. 29
The shameful story showing you the facts a CAVEMAN living in the stone age is likely to be MORE SUCCESSFUL in getting along with people than you (Thousands of years have past and people still do not know these historically puzzling facts until now) - pg. 25
The Japanese principle behind Japan's manufacturing success that guarantees their products to be a superior quality above other countries' products and how you can apply this principle to GUARANTEE you have superior relationships your friends only dream of - pg. 33
Communication researchers who have a deep understanding of their field and know the latest findings in human behavior fail to use this plain vanilla communication technique (It is a simple yet powerful technique that will improve any area of personal development in your life) - pg. 31
How to make CERTAIN the relationships you have right now will NEVER be worse than what they are today (A simple step-by-step formula that all you need to do is apply to your life) - pgs. 33-34
Horrifying research that discovers your interactions with people influence your LIFE and DEATH - pg. 23
How to get DOUBLE the results from HALF the effort you put into a relationship - pg. 33
4 principles of communication believed to be true that are the greatest lies to exist in communication (If you believe just 1 of these 4 myths are true then the lie has enough destructive power to damage your relationship) - pgs. 27-30

This first chapter lays the foundations to become an effective communicator FAST. The advice builds a STRONG framework necessary to erect stable and happy relationships in your life and gives you the skills to "get people on your side" so other people HELP create your success. You will be able to use this foundation for success in business relationships, social life, marriage, and any other type of relationships that are important to you because communication is everywhere.

Foundational Secret 2

The second chapter completely exposes dangerous characteristics of the human mind too its bareness. If you have EVER been frustrated as to why someone does not understand you or you misunderstand them, this chapter has your answers. The chapter lays the foundations of the 12 communication secrets as it reveals to you how our minds interact with the world around us.

“Because our entire universe is made up of consciousness, we never really experience the universe directly. We just experience our consciousness of the universe, our perception of it, so right, our only universe is perception.” - Alan Moore (Author and screenplay writer)

Here is a free sample of chapter two:
Why you forget a person's name when they introduce themselves to you and other forms of "deafness" that prevent you from truly intimate conversations (How to START remembering people's name and what was said in a conversation... END the frustration of you or the person you are talking to not listening) - pg. 37
How you can make, at WILL, people in plain normal conversations hang off your every word by adapting the techniques billion dollar companies use in their advertising - pg. 38
How to walk into any room and have the opposite sex INSTANTLY attracted to you like the flick of a light switch (The enhanced version of a technique male pick-up artists have used to get women attracted and approaching them instantly upon entering a bar or club) - pg. 41
How to speak a hobbyists, sports enthusiasts, or guru's language and get IN the know-how of their exclusive group instead of being left in the dark with their jargon (A great tip for building subconscious rapport and have people liking you without them knowing why) - pg. 50
If you've EVER wondered why your mind is constantly fearing, worrying, or doubting and you are concerned this is holding you back from success and happiness then this is your answer - pg. 48
An ancient Indian tale clearly explains that what you think is certainly RIGHT is in fact WRONG (This is where almost ALL arguments start because we argue due to thinking that what we say is right) - pg. 36
How to prevent yourself from being a part of the 90% of people that never discover their biases, prejudices, assumptions... and other judgments of people (You are using this barrier to great relationships EVERY time you speak with someone if you are not in the 10% of people who know this little secret) - pg. 37
3 step process to identify when, why, and how come the person you are talking to does not understand what you say (It is a part of human psychology that takes place every second of your day and I have broken it down into an EASY 3 step process) - pgs. 37-39
5 laws that have governed how you "see" people since birth that cause you to make relationship-law breaking decisions (These are NATURAL human shortcuts to save us time in making decisions that usually DAMAGE relationship communication) - pgs. 40-44
A brutally harsh assumption you make EACH time you meet a new person that makes creating a great relationship an INSTANT uphill battle (Hint: This is more than first impressions) - pg. 43
How your past or present bad relationships are carrying emotional dirt into your current relationships (A "contamination process" that infects and worsens the relationships you have now) - pg. 45
The "gaps" that cause you to make assumptions about a person that you poorly "fill-in" everyday leading to no "connection" in the relationship - pg. 45
The "high and low road" principle that will ensure you WIN the hearts of people (A powerful friendship principle to MAKE MORE FRIENDS than you ever thought possible) - pg. 39
The MOST dangerous belief in communication you can EVER have that will make or break your relationships - pg. 52
The natural "seat-belt" for relationship-safety that protects you from emotional and physical harm and how it is quietly chocking your happiness and stopping you from experiencing joyful relationships - pg. 49
5 influences in you and every person that distort, jumble, and mix-up the communication puzzle (You will drastically REDUCE the number of times you and your partner MISUNDERSTAND one another with the solution to this puzzle) - pgs. 50-53
The 3 stage process that either pans out the "gold nuggets" or "dirt" when you are talking to someone (This is the difference during conversation between a valuable understanding or a messy misunderstanding) - pg. 50
How your beliefs are a "light switch" that either turn on or off your ability to ACHIEVE ANYTHING - pg. 52
How to update your "mental software" so you remain compatible and do not go "out-of-date" with your partner (The technique will KEEP the two of you compatible with one another and also upgrade your other relationships) - pg. 48
The EXACT moment someone either deletes, distorts, or generalizes what you say and what you can do about it to prevent yourself from experiencing frustration and the person misunderstanding you - pg. 54
A reflective principle backed by research is revealed unveiling SIMPLE principles of the human mind that lets you create the characteristics in people YOU want them to have (A SAFE and non-manipulative technique that will surprise you) - pgs. 45-47
A 95% GUARANTEED technique to make you HAPPY... even when you are experiencing a stressful, emotionally demanding, or other difficult situation in a relationship - pg. 39
5 common ways people interpret information and how to use this new knowledge to INSTANTLY build RAPPORT - pg. 53

This second chapter means you: CLEARLY express your thoughts and feelings, share mutual understanding with anyone you talk too, and build "connection" fast and strong with whoever you choose in your relationships. It will give you an EASY understanding of the human mind so it works for you and not against you in your relationships and success.

Foundational Secret 3

The third chapter reveals a 19th Century piece of advice mastered by Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Napoleon Hill, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, and Ralph Waldo Emerson to name a few great achievers that have used this principle. It is a principle of psychology that allows you to CREATE success, happiness, and relationships with your thoughts. Pretty cool huh?

“Our minds become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds and these magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts.” - Napoleon Hill

Here is a free sample of chapter three:
A strategy that will PREVENT conflict 90% of the time so you no longer argue and fight with family, loved ones, and employees (Adapted from Sun Tzu, a 6th century master in physical war) - pg. 56
How to erase self-limiting beliefs, letting go of the past, and bad societal conditioning so such damaging "dirt" does not mess up your future - pg. 63
The secret to FEELING GREAT almost anytime (This will let you tolerate bad people, develop a lively personality, and "rise above" other emotional pain people place on you that MAKES you feel bad) - pg. 62
How a man went from dating no women too 3 women a week in 6 months - pg. 59
How you can drastically increase your chances of having great communication BEFORE even starting a conversation (Hint: Your spoken words and body language is not the answer) - pg. 61
The principle you can use to OVERCOME bad relationships and other hurtful experiences (Use it correctly and you will build more intimate relationships and success in your life) - pg. 57
Why your relationship is set to sink faster than the Titanic before you even speak one word - pg. 58
The law of attraction and how you can use it to "magnetize your mind" so you attract great relationships and people into your life (Oprah uses this universal law and discussed it on her show in February 2007) - pgs. 58-59
How to inject the law of attraction with "steroids" so you attract the people, events, and relationships into your life FAST - pg. 60
Why a war between countries is no different to the destruction caused by arguing in a relationship (The devastating attacks, defenses, and secret weapons used in communication to destroy the people you love in relationships) - pg. 56
Scientific laws explained by Albert Einstein's formula - E=mc2 - reveals how your "poor energy levels" are repelling great circumstances in your life - pg. 60
The one principle of the mind that WILL rapidly speed-up your efforts to improve your life - pg. 63
How to become the "housekeeper" of your mind to EASILY keep your thoughts positively "clean" from the emotional, mental, and negative "dirt" other people place in you (Hint: The answer is not being positive) - pg. 57
How to forgive a person NO MATTER how much damage they have done to your life, how wrong they are, and how undeserved your pain was (At last, remove the emotional pain that has been hurting you for years and experience emotional freedom) - pg. 64
An exercise to feel EXACTLY the way a master of communication skills feels after an exciting conversation even if you just "screwed up" - pg. 62
The horrifying TRUTH behind being positive the personal development experts don't want you to know (How a positive attitude will only leave you frustrated) - pg. 60
The one problem you MUST change to lift the "handbrake" of personal growth that brings your relationships, happiness, success, and personal magnetism to a "screaming halt" - pg. 57
How to develop a HYPNOTIC personality to subliminally mesmerize anyone with whom you have a conversation - pgs. 57-62

This third chapter reveals to you how to create the relationships, happiness, and success YOU want in your life by taking advantage of the way you think. You need to understand how your mind works if you are to have great relationships because ANYTHING you do, feel, or say STARTS from your mind.

Having read chapters 1, 2, and 3, you now have laid down the RIGHT foundations to create, with ease, the 12 communication secrets of making people like you.

“The 12 Communication Secrets Of Making People Like You”

The 12 communication secrets you will soon see as you continue to read this page are transforming the 12 communication barriers to make them work for you instead of against you.

In my story at the start of this page, I explained how the communication secrets of making people like me were in front of my very eyes. The secrets where the 12 communication barriers in disguise. What I did and have done for you in the program is transform the barriers to make them work for you. Where other's fail, you will succeed. What were your weaknesses will become your strengths that attract people to you.

Communication Secret 1

The fourth chapter reveals the first communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - criticizing. Criticism is judging or evaluating someone and is a poor attempt to make others change. For just about all people, criticism is focused on negatives. You criticize in an attempt to "improve" someone by pointing out their negatives yet it REPELS people from you, gives you bad relationships, makes people unhappy, and limits your success.

Someone who can successfully criticize is able to make other's change their behaviors and feel more attracted to the person as a result. They are more persuasive and charismatic. People will like you more WHEN you know how to criticize...

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” - William Arthur Ward (Author in Reader's Digest)

Here is a free sample of chapter four:
How to eliminate "tidal waves" crashing in your life and instead "surf" yourself too intimate relationships (Take advantage of those big problems that crash-down intimacy and love in your relationships) - pg. 73
4 questions you MUST ask yourself before criticizing anyone otherwise you are likely to start a fight (Get the golden keys that determine whether and how you open the doors of criticism) - pg. 76
How you are trashing a loved one's self-confidence and self-esteem into the emotional garbage dump (MAKE your loved one MORE ATTRACTIVE by helping to improve their confidence) - pg. 70
Why your need to criticize someone is NOT their problem and is 100% your problem (Your criticism is the "cancer" while their problem is just a "cold") - pg. 68
Why most relationship fights break-out and what YOU can do to neutralize the intense situation - pg. 74
5 possible reactions a person has when being criticized so you know EXACTLY what is going on in your relationship communication (Become "psychic" and know how people will react to your feedback so you can stay one-step ahead) - pg. 69
Divorce, drunkenness, hate, and feelings of regret are caused by... - pg. 73
The number ONE myth as to why you and anybody else criticizes (This is entirely your problem when you criticize) - pg. 68
How you are "dunking" your relationship in icy-cold water EVERYTIME you say this 1 thing to your partner - pg. 67
How to become CONFIDENT and not have to worry about whether other people approve or disapprove what you do (At last, free yourself from other people's judgments) - pg. 72
8 "do or die" communication tips to make any criticism, suggestions, or changes in someone's behavior successful - pgs. 76-78
How to make "emotional deposits" into a person's "relationship bank" so you get a great return on investment in the form of love (Hint: This is not about doing nice things for people) - pg. 70
5 step exercise you can do ANYTIME by yourself to solve a relationship or personal problem and achieve your relationship goals (This is an exercise used by some of the world's greatest life coaches to achieve their goals) - pgs. 73

This fourth chapter gets you changing other people's behaviors that annoy you, destroy relationships, and makes you unhappy. You are given nutrient-rich communication skills to feed ANY relationship. You will at last, have the skills to persuade and influence people who get on your nerves without relationship damaging criticism.

Communication Secret 2

The fifth chapter reveals the second communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - labeling. You label someone when 'placing' names on people. Labeling causes people to lose their uniqueness which in turn causes you to lose special people in your life. Labeling is a rapid way to damage any relationship fast.

Whenever you talk with someone you immediately categorize, stereotype, and "size-up" the person based on your quick judgments. These thoughts are the MAIN influences that determine how you act and feel towards the person. Understanding this influence and knowing how to use it for your advantage, allows you to have uniquely special people in your life who like or LOVE you...

“Labels are for cans, not people.” - Anthony Rapp (Broadway actor)

Here is a free sample of chapter five:
The golden-rule of ALL relationships is a COMPLETE lie (Why treating people the way you would like to be treated is fools gold and what you must do to start mining real gold in relationships) - pg. 81
Do you wonder why someone gossips about you? (3 answers as to why a loved one will use "undercover" behaviors behind your back and secretly sabotage your relationship) - pg. 83
How to solve the snowball effect where relationship problems grow in size fast as the relationship goes dangerously "downhill" - pg. 84
The relationship destroyer that "pastes labels" onto people causing you to treat them differently too the way they want to be treated - pg. 79
Where relationship wounds TRULY begin to open-up before you even say one hurtful word (You do not need to tell someone they are an "idiot", "silly", or "slow" to hurt communication in your relationship) - pg. 80
The toxic poison seeping quietly into your relationships which destroys healthy communication - pg. 83
If you've ever felt immobilized with what to say next when talking to someone where your mind goes "blank" as you freeze and hesitate in a conversation, this one piece of advice is your solution (How to have better conversations by changing this ONE thing used in your attitude, thoughts, and feelings) - pg. 89
2 responses anybody has which forms a gap in your relationships when you "categorize" or stereotype people - pg. 83
One-tonne words you think are light that actually CRUSH relationships (Unknown offensive words you use too often that QUIETLY crunches relationships) - pg. 84
The world is filled with objects that mean nothing until you give it meaning (How to use this powerful piece of advice to CREATE the life, love, and relationships you want NO MATTER how disastrous your life is) - pg. 80
A trick to keep your mind open so you can solve your most difficult and hidden relationship problems (An exercise to stimulate your creativity, destroy constraining assumptions, and thinking outside of the box for solving those tough relationship issues) - pg. 82
What to say to get people to do what you want instead of using poor manipulation tactics - pg. 86
7 reasons people label and the appropriate solutions of each reason to completely eliminate this communication barrier and make it your communication secret (You need the right one of these unique solutions to correctly solve this relationship communication problem) - pgs. 83-85

This fifth chapter peels off the "labels" you place on people to make your relationships unique and enjoyable. You don't need near-perfect people in your life to enjoy life. How we categorize people through these labels determines how special the relationship becomes.

Communication Secret 3

The sixth chapter reveals the third communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - diagnosing. It is a relationship damaging technique used as an attempt to understand why someone is behaving the way they are. Diagnosing is a shallow understanding of a person.

Knowing how to correctly understand others allows you to "get inside their mind" so you know why they are behaving the way they are, how to give them what they want, and how to get what you want from them...

“Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.” - Martin Luther King, Jr. (1964 Nobel Peace Prize winner known for his "I have a dream" speech)

Here is a free sample of chapter six:
How to communicate with your partner like a counselor talking to a patient solving relationship problems (A quick tip to "self-graduate" in counseling and remove the daily grind of trying to help your resistant partner) - pg. 92
Why telling someone they are behaving the way they are is putting a firecracker up the person's rear end and exploding your relationship - pg. 89
How to become the man women WANT (Women are BEGGING to get this type of "real man" and now they can by transforming their own men into these characteristics) - pg. 94
How you are playing the "amateur psychologist" or "relationship healer" and doing more damage to your relationship than good (Women are known to have this GOOD INTENTION and actually DESTROY their relationships) - pg. 89
"Can't miss" tip to no longer pave your relationship road with good intentions too a bad future destination (How to stop guiding your relationships on the wrong path and wasting emotional energy on the journey) - pg. 90
The one common PROBLEM communication EXPERTS, psychologists, and others involved in human behavior have in their relationships - pg. 90
A hidden manipulation tactic people use on you to try and get you to do what they want (You will know what is TRULY going on and not be controlled by selfish others who try to get the better of you) - pg. 92
Why an attractive woman "shields" herself from men approaching her in public and how a man can get her guard DOWN and start a relationship on the SPOT (Men will transform the battleground into friendly territory with this advice) - pg. 93
How to scare-off a person in public using the communication barrier of diagnosing (What not to do to destroy any conversation fast) - pg. 94
What it takes to understand others and get them to do what you want (Do you have the qualities it takes to understand people?) - pg. 95
The secret problem in diagnosing others and the pit relationship experts unknowingly fall into - pg. 95
What goes on INSIDE a female's mind when ANY man does ANYTHING for her... This is one thought process women constantly have in these situations that most men have no idea about (Men who know this are able to push a woman's hot-buttons to turn her on instead of off) - pg. 93
Silent killer to your relationships that people mistaken it to be good relationship advice (Don't let this relationship killer in disguise trick you) - pg. 91
5 listening tips to MAKE people like you (Listening skills to understand people, make them feel addicted to your listening ear, and make them feel cared for) - pgs. 95-97
How to stop relationship gambling by guessing relationship problems and finally learn to win this game of chance (Put the odds greatly in your favor where others are losing out big-time) - pg. 91

This sixth chapter is especially for those who want to understand people's behavior more. The chapter gives you the skills to hit the BULLSEYE of understanding another person's behavior so you will build stronger relationship, respond in appropriate ways, know what people want and don't want, and no longer be left in the dark as to why a person is behaving the way they are.

Communication Secret 4

The seventh chapter reveals the fourth communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - praising. This is really a surprising relationship problem because praise supposedly improves people's confidence, esteem, and builds your relationship with them yet for MOST people it is a HIDDEN manipulation tactic.

Knowing how to successfully give praise is a guaranteed technique to make others happy, improve their confidence, increase your personal magnetism, make you more happy, give you enjoyable relationships, and make people like you...

“But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication.” - Abraham Maslow (Psychologist and author of Motivation and Personality in 1954)

Here is a free sample of chapter seven:
7 commonly used words in giving praise that make it self-destruct upon being received (Don't use these words to have your praise EXPLODE in the person's face) - pg. 108
How to communicate like a first-class salesman and get someone happily "buying" your ideas - pg. 103
Scientific tactics to change other people's behavior without them knowing they are actually changing (Research showing how several psychology students were able to get fellow college female students wearing red to rise from 11% to 22%) - pg. 106
Where your need to manipulate others through praising comes from (Know the origins of this communication barrier) - pg. 99
The myth that giving praise improves the person's confidence and esteem (How praise actually does the opposite and why you are emotionally hurting a loved one by praising them) - pg. 100
How to stop a person from rejecting praise through statements like "It was nothing" or "You should thank others instead" (This is an extremely frustrating situation to be in where you are trying to help but get "pushed back") - pg. 107
The band aid praise puts on bleeding emotional problems too severe (Why you are avoiding "relationship surgery" to heal your relationship by using praise) - pg. 100
Have relationships with those who lack unstoppable confidence? How you are destroying other people's confidence through praise - pg. 111
Horrifying blame-praise dependency trap where children and adults need others to approve of them (This emotional approval is the destroyer of creativity, independence, and happiness) - pg. 101
2 types of motives explaining why you do exactly what you do (At last, get behind-the-scenes and know why you act a certain way in different situations) - pgs. 102-103
How to detect a person who is "undercover" trying to manipulate you through compliments without your knowledge - pg. 103
An exercise to throw poor praise "overboard" and sail on the right co-ordinates to salutary praise - pg. 104
The magical formula to make any praise sincere, honest, and happily accepted - pg. 105
How to inject a shot of positive energy into any negative or depressing conversation - pg. 107
How to BOOST other's confidence, esteem, emotional security, and respect for you using this one communication technique - pg. 107
9 strong pieces of advice to KICK START any relationship, get more friends, enhance love, boost sales, and reinforce good behavior through well communicated praise - pgs. 108-109
An assertive skills technique to get your point across in a safe manner when you have a person persistently bugging you like an annoying mosquito (Safely "swat away" this person without causing any "blood stains") - pg. 108
The GUARANTEED way to flatter people and take them "off their feet" with your praise... and not have it rejected or taken as manipulation (A cheeky tactic adapted from a communication technique used by soldiers in World War I) - pg. 109

This seventh chapter uncovers the truth about praising and how it is a hidden manipulative technique. Proven and more effective communication skills is given so you can quickly BOOST any relationship fast, make others happy, and increase your personal magnetism. Speed up relationship building that used to take painful hours (even then it wasn't guaranteed you would build a strong relationship) with the advice given in chapter seven and increase your "magnetic people pulling power".

Communication Secret 5

The eight chapter reveals the fifth communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - ordering. We hate being controlled through things likes orders as it leaves us frustrated and feeling inferior.

You only have 50% of control in a relationship but you can influence it 100% and get what you want with the communication skills in chapter eight. Knowing how to successfully get others doing what you want without control, relationship damaging techniques, or having the person resenting you will increase your persuasive power, make you charismatic, and people will like you more...

“We control fifty percent of a relationship. We influence one hundred percent of it.” - Joyce Bauer (PhD in psychology)

Here is a free sample of chapter eight:
5 types of power you can develop to get what you WANT (Originally proven by 2 behavioral researchers in a 1959 study) - pgs. 116-118
A leadership strategy to get your team fighting HUNGRILY together towards a common goal (World-class sports coaches have successfully used this leadership strategy to guide their team to VICTORY) - pg. 120
How to become a people magnet and enjoy your new charismatic personality (A formula for increasing your personal magnetism no matter how much of a "person repellent" you are) - pg. 118
How to possess MORE power than your boss... entirely safe techniques that only become dangerous when you misuse your power (Imagine what you could do with this power? Would you confidently ask for a pay raise or promotion?) - pg. 116
How your attempt to create order by telling someone what to do is actually disordering and creating emotional HAVOC - pg. 115
What you do to put an "emotional gun" to a loved one's heart that gives them no choice but to follow your directions and have them HATE you for it - pg. 119
Free yourself from worrying about a loved one's actions (How to detach yourself from someone no matter how controlling you feel you must be to keep them "in line") - pg. 123
Why any type of control you have over someone will FORCE the person to protect oneself and produce the "backlash effect" - pg. 121
Ever felt someone imprisons your every move causing you to lose freedom? This happens because... - pg. 122
A simple tip to build trust in any relationship - pg. 123
The 3 options a person has when you give an order that are ALL damaging to your relationship (Hint: Arguing back and starting a fight is one of these options) - pg. 120
Why a jealous girlfriend or wife controls their boyfriend or husband (The one personal problem I have seen in these females again and again) - pg. 124
How to be confident and no longer anxious about what other people think of you (An effective and proven strategy to delete that evil voice within your mind that worries about what other people are thinking of you) - pg. 124
Discover where the need to control others is born from so you can send it straight to the after-life - pg. 122
The life-changing power behind effective communication skills that are not controlling (Countries under the power of others experience wonderful freedom when "released" and so will those under control in relationships) - pg. 114
Not sure if you should end a relationship? The ONE question you must ask yourself to make this tough and dirty decision crystal clear is... - pg. 126
5 techniques to get your butt back on your life driver's seat (Say "goodbye" to unwanted drivers and controllers of your life) - pgs. 125-126
How being quite for your relationship's sake or to prevent a fight from breaking out is actually destroying your relationships (Your good intentions are doing more harm than good in this shocking situation) - pg. 126
The psychological fuel of a control freak and how to keep this energy source drier than a desert - pg. 124

This eighth chapter reveals to you how to get others doing what you want. The most common strategy to do this is ordering people but this repels them for your life and makes them resentful. Knowing how to SUCCESSFULLY get others doing what you want will leave you satisfied, make others happy, give you power, make your relationships stronger, and people liking you more.

Communication Secret 6

The ninth chapter is an extension on chapter eight in getting other to do what you want. It reveals the sixth communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - threatening. A threat is basically an order backed by some type of repercussion like a punishment. Terrorists use threats because they know how damaging fear alone is to any relationship. Terrorist groups with just a single threat have turned nations against one another causing people to start their own conflict, fights, rallies, and relationship breakdowns.

Knowing how to successfully get your point across, calm down a ferocious-tempered individual, and influence the most cold-hearted individual will make people like you more...

“I consider it a mark of great prudence in a man to abstain from threats or any contemptuous expressions, for neither of these weaken the enemy, but threats make him more cautious, and the other excites his hatred, and a desire to revenge himself.” - Niccolo Machiavelli (Romantic writer of drama and poetry)

Here is a free sample of chapter nine:
4 steps to persuade and influence the MOST cold-hearted individual - pgs. 133-134
3 techniques to eat-away your threats and other's threats "fresh from the oven" recently unearthed by negotiators at an American prison siege - pgs. 129-130
The ONE delicate principal that can convert any good suggestion you give into an evil threat - pg. 127
How long it takes to break ANY habit (Know the scientifically tested number of days it takes to change a habit so you don't give up just short of successfully removing a bad habit again) - pg. 132
The "threat-test" and how the person you threaten digs into your mind and uncovers fake threats (You see this in movies where a hostage is being held at gun point and yells "Go on. Shoot me!") - pg. 128
How ineffective and relationship damaging a threat is (Surprisingly, a threat will often reduce the impact of what you are saying) - pg. 128
Why a threatener is interested to work with you towards problem resolution and what you can do to tap into this hidden GOLDMINE - pg. 130
How to change another person's behavior using PROVEN behavioral research discovered in a 1959 experiment by a world-renowned psychologist - pg. 131
A dangerous communication drug that is addictive to the user of this technique (By using this poor communication skill once, you are likely to become addicted to continue using it and ultimately destroy your important relationships) - pg. 132
The fundamental principle to get any person doing what you want (You would listen to Michael Jordan giving you basketball tips instead of some punk teenager. Here is how you can apply it to your communication) - pg. 133
You'll be kicking yourself once you know this one easy technique to stop a threatener - pg. 135
4 techniques you can use to "morph" other people's annoying habits and other behaviors into what you want them to do (Imagine how great you would feel in removing a family member's habits that bug the heck out of you) - pg. 131
The 4 step assertive skill to SAFELY and COMPLETELY express your feelings while enhancing your relationship at the same time (Avoid bottling-up your feelings or releasing them in a strong outburst with this must-have technique) - pg. 135
"Defuse" emotional bombs and calm someone down to get them communicating better without the relationship explosions (How to REMOVE a person's fierce anger, hatred, fear, blame, and other intense emotions with this 4 part technique) - pg. 136

This ninth chapter reveals compelling, influential, and step-by-step techniques to get others to do what you want. It extends on the skills you will gain in chapter eight to INCREASE your persuasive power while STRENGTHENING your relationships at the same time.

Communication Secret 7

The tenth chapter reveals the seventh communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - questioning. Poor questioning typically falls under excessive and inappropriate questions.

Knowing how to ask the right questions will get you the right answers, improve your charismatic personality, help you have successful conversations without you needing to say anything, and make others liking you more as you show an interest in their lives...

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” - Anthony Robbins (Termed the 'world's greatest motivation coach')

Here is a free sample of chapter ten:
A trick of the mind to seduce, sell, or persuade someone without them even knowing they are "falling for you" - pg. 141
How to create conversational bait that people cannot resist devouring to get them talking so you can sit back and enjoy great conversations (You'll be dishing out great serves with this technique) - pg. 146
2 types of questions that dig a relationship's grave and send it to the after-life - pg. 140
Make this error and you can expect your relationships to shut down faster than poorly designed software (Get your relationships working smoothly and enhancing your life) - pg. 141
How to get quiet, shy, or unconfident people to talk in a conversation (Become a saviour to those who struggle to communicate and they will love you for it) - pg. 139
How this good communication skill is scaring you from its use because it leads to a bad response yet it strengthens the relationship (A person's bad response to this communication skills is just temporary "smoke and glass" in front of a better relationship) - pg. 146
How you are digging a deep relationship hole with questioning that is difficult to "climb out" (When questioning - a supposedly good communication technique - is used to send any relationship you have too the graveyard) - pg. 139
Questions that cannot be answered and how this manipulative tactic is destroying honesty, openness, and understanding in your relationships (The type of unanswerable question which pressures the person being questioned into a corner leading to closed communication and resentment) - pg. 141
Ever felt like you were squeezing blood from a stone when asking someone questions and all they gave you was short answers? Here is why... - pg. 143
Curiosity killed the cat and will kill your conversations (How an interest in the other person is damaging your relationship) - pg. 143
How to keep any conversation going and stop those awkward moments of silence (This technique will be your "life jacket" frequently saving you from drowning conversations) - pg. 145
The 2 reasons why someone will not answer your question and what you can do about it too create open communication - pg. 147
3 laws of questioning that dictate when a question is poor or successful (Stay on the right-side of "relationship law" by obeying these rules and you will reap the rewards of open communication) - pgs. 140-141
6 stealthy tactics used by top interrogators to get their suspects talking and answering their questions (Get your tough questions answered with these top-secret pieces of advice) - pgs. 146-148

This tenth chapter provides you CLEAR help in asking successful questions to get relationship building answers. By using these questioning techniques you are able to get your partner or others to "open-up" communication, have more intimate conversations, and share a close connection. Poor questions get poor responses and by knowing how to ask successful questions you will get a more successful life, intimate relationships, increase your personal magnetism, and make people like you.

Communication Secret 8

The eleventh chapter reveals the eighth communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - moralizing. You moralize when you use right and wrong to further your point of view. Moralizing statements usually contain "shoulds", "oughts", "right", "wrong", or "must". This causes hostile relationships where the individuals attack one another leading to guilt, anxiety, and resentment.

Knowing the effective communication skills to get others to change their behaviors, doing what you want, and providing a true energy source of motivation will make people like you more...

“A hungry man can't see right or wrong. He just sees food.” - Pearl Buck (1938 Nobel Literature Prize winner)

Here is a free sample of chapter eleven:
How to turn around anger, unhappiness, grief, and other life destroying emotions into mental fuel to create and ENERGIZE great relationships (Take care of your relationship environment with these techniques to make use of toxic emotional pollution) - pg. 155
How moralizing tears-out the "roots" of a relationship while morals embed deep-roots to STRENGTHEN a couple's relationship (The small difference between morals and moralizing has enormous effects on your relationships) - pg. 151
What a woman can do to open up their man for more LOVE and CONNECTION (Women will moralize to their man with statements like "you should talk to me about your problems" but this often makes the man avoid talking more so) - pg. 154
4 golden techniques to communicate DIRECTLY and PERSONALLY to the person and avoid the indirect statements of moralizing like sentences with "should" in them (When you say "You should do this...", you are not talking to the person directly) - pgs. 157-158
How trying to improve your relationships is driving nail after nail into a BLEEDING relationship (Don't make your relationships worse by fixing them with this) - pg. 154
How defining the right and wrong things for someone is secretly eating away at your relationship - pg. 151
The birthplace of moralizing so you can destroy it before it destroys you (The moralizing communication barrier won't have a chance of hurting your life if you know where it is born) - pg. 152
The quickest way in communication that is a habit I see in people everywhere to make someone hate you (Hint: It isn't what you think like being rude to the person) - pg. 153
The genetically programmed selfish desire we have within us which places your partner's thoughts elsewhere and how he or she couldn't CARE what you say - pg. 154
Ever thought your relationship with a loved is between just you two? Think again... (The 2 "mystical figures" that call-the-shots in your relationships with what can and cannot be done through this poor communication style) - pg. 153
The greatest myth on emotions regarding anger, frustration, hatred, and unhappiness being BAD when they are NOT (An untold lie is revealed that will change the way you think and feel about emotions FOREVER) - pg. 155
4 poisonous reactions from moralizing that go undetected in a relationship and cause its end (These are reactions to moralizing that I continue to see again and again destroy relationships as they are natural human responses) - pg 156
When a person accepts what you say, happily nods to what you say, and is in agreement with what you say, is covering up their true feelings and completely DISAGREES with you (You'll be surprised why this happens and it will make perfect sense once you know why) - pg. 157
Apply this simple persuasive technique to your everyday communication and get people doing what you want (Christians successfully fought against a nudist beach in America using this technique without resorting to moralizing beliefs that would have caused the community to fight against them) - pg. 159
How to stop hostile relationships where you or your partner becomes a nitty-picker by finding little faults in the other person that gradually destroys relationship happiness (You will start reigniting a PASSIONATE love despite the faults we all have that will NEVER go away) - pg. 152
How to MAKE SOMEONE SELF-MOTIVATED and changing their behavior, doing more work, and helping you out more (A psychological principle that determines whether we do something and how to use this to motivate others) - pg. 159
How to BECOME SELF-MOTIVATED to get the goals you desire and achieve personal relationship and career success (This is applying the same psychological principle for successfully and consistently motivating other people) - pg. 160

This eleventh chapter uncovers a common problem people have in relationships where they define "rules" of the relationship and what is right and wrong. The advice in this chapter on knowing how to change other's behaviors without establishing the "bureaucratic" rules that constrain people, creating motivation within yourself, and being able to get others self-motivated will be an INVALUABLE communication tool for your personal, career, and relationship success.

Communication Secret 9

The twelfth chapter reveals the ninth communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - advising. Of all the communication secrets that stop people from experiencing great relationships and success, I would choose their need to give advice to others.

However, not helping others with your experience and knowledge would be wasteful. Knowing how to successfully give advice without causing the frustration, control, resentment, misunderstanding, and inferiority caused from most types of advice will further make people like you...

“The best advice is this: Don't take advice and don't give advice.” - Author Unknown

Here is a free sample of chapter twelve:
Why those people who need your advice the most are the ones who like it the LEAST - pg. 162
4 relationship "diagnostics" of advising to know the why, what, when, and how of each problem when giving advice (NEVER be left in the dark with what is going on in people's mind when you them give advice... how to begin creating a light to guide any relationship with your advice and get in CONTROL of your relationships) - pgs. 165-166
I know you give advice to others with your best intentions but this is how your "nice present" is paper wrapping a relationship explosive bomb (Don't let this gimmick explode in your friend's face) - pg. 163
How to go beyond the "tip of the iceberg" and UNDERSTAND 90% of a partner's problem you do not normally see from their mysterious behavior (Marriage counselors use this to DEEPLY understand their patients, give correct advice, and heal couples' relationships) - pg. 166
The unspoken cry for help when a person asks for your advice and how to HAPPILY wipe away their HIDDEN tears - pg. 165
You now know how dangerous giving advice to others is but should you give or withhold advice from your children? (Here is what you can do to raise emotionally HEALTHY children and not get ensnared in this very common parenting trap) - pg. 163
Science principle proving how young children are easily "brain-washed" from anyone and anything... and how you can PROTECT your child with an "impenetrable shield" (Children's brain waves that make them scientifically incapable of choosing right and wrong up until the age of 12 when given advice from others) - pg. 164
How you are cutting up "life jackets" when giving advice to someone who is "overboard" requesting your help - pg. 164
The one thing you must remove from your communication habits that instantly increases normal love into PASSIONATE romance (Get rid of this today. It is costing you relationship happiness.) - pg. 162
How to get a loved one exploring their inner feelings, beliefs, and attitudes so the person is equipped with the right tools to build a LOVING relationship with you (The secret is to get the person actively involved instead of you giving advice) - pg. 168
How to overcome relationship analysis-paralysis and stop once and for all, worrying over the little things that destroy big relationships - pg. 163
2 sneaky listening skills to: make people love talking to you, avoid the advice giving trap, and have the person funnily enough thank you for your "advice" - pgs. 168-169
Scientifically proven principle to soak-up information so you quickly learn and grow as a person instead of information going in one ear and out the other (How to make your mind a "sponge" so it RAPIDLY absorbs life-changing information from reading, observing, and hearing that will help you grow as a person) - pg. 163
What women do to "improve their relationships" that drives their man away and sends their relationships crashing into an emotional wall - pg. 162
6 questions you need to ask yourself before deciding to advise someone and not let your knowledge go to waste (Miss 1 question then give advice and you begin to throw down the relationship into a rubbish basket) - pg. 170
The myth that listening to a struggling friend will improve your relationship and what you should be doing instead to make the person like you more while helping your friend out (Kill two birds with one stone using one of my favorite communication skills) - pg. 167
Access to a BONUS 4000 word REPORT containing more golden gems on advising, how to criticize, basic conflict management, giving feedback, many listening skills and techniques, and other good self development skills - pg. 170

As a friend, partner, manager, or parent, it is difficult to withhold advice from someone you care about. You want to help the person with your advice yet unfortunately it will usually hurt your relationships. The twelfth chapter reveals what you need to know about avoiding the advice giving trap and how to SUCCESSFULLY give advice to improve other's lives and your relationships with them.

Communication Secret 10

The thirteenth chapter reveals the tenth communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - logic. This is using things like facts, pointing out the obvious, "missing the point", and avoiding emotions.

Knowing how to balance logic and emotions in your life and relationships will allow you to satisfy one of our greatest human needs - emotional fulfillment. In this chapter you'll discover the step-by-step and research-backed psychological laws of logic and emotions to increase your persuasive power and charisma to make people like you...

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” - Dale Carnegie (Author of How to Win Friends and Influence People)

Here is a free sample of chapter thirteen:
How to create ATTRACTION by firing this one trigger in a man's mind to make the man hunger for your attention (The technique can also be used on women as it is a human psychological principle) - pg. 178
Discover what EXACTLY energizes ALL relationships and how to produce this fuel to keep any relationship tank full (Know the reason as to why few relationships are a roaring fire of PASSION and most are just a little candle waiting to be extinguished) - pg. 177
7 dimensions of intelligence and what dimensions determine your character, happiness, and success... IQ has little to do with it (Developed by a Harvard professor in education) - pg. 185
The 4 corners of self-awareness that shape your understanding of own emotions, attitudes, traits, and behaviors and how to know yourself for a FULFILLING life (Obviously, you will spend the rest of your life with yourself so get to know who you are!) - pgs. 182-184
2 logic pitfalls you fall into that cause you to emotionally misunderstand your partner and emotionally distance your relationship - pg. 174
How to never "miss the point" when someone is explaining an emotional problem (No longer will your partner be frustrated in you not understanding) - pg. 175
The 2 levels the human mind operates at and how you must be on the same level as your partner to build CONNECTION and INTIMATE understanding (This communication skills advice is based on scientifically backed left and right brain activity) - pg. 173
One type of questioning that uses logic in an attempt to get somebody to do what you want and causes them to argue - pg. 176
What you are communicating to make another person feel stupid when they make a mistake and need your help (You will see why people become frustrated and annoyed at you when they make a mistake) - pg. 176
How to WIN against difficult situations and conquer conversations that bring out the worst in you (Hint: You can throw a match into one room and nothing happens while you throw another match into a gas-filled room and it will explode in your face) - pg. 177
4 components of emotional intelligence and the one component you MUST follow to become emotionally intelligent (Don't leave out this ONE vital piece of any emotional puzzle) - pg. 186
The principle as to why you make a bad decision and how to filter out the dirt that blocks you from poor decision-making (How to distill your mind of poor influences and make CRYSTAL CLEAR decisions you know are right) - pg. 178
The areas both men and women are more emotionally intelligent in than the other gender (Uncovers the MYTH being taught by relationship experts that women are more emotionally competent than men) - pg. 180
Why empathizing is damaging to your health and well-being (How a wonderful communication skill is putting your health at risk) - pg. 181
How to remove hatred from your life and relationships before hatred removes your life and relationships from you - pg. 181
The blueprint of how you perceive, interpret, and respond to ANY situation... Imagine the POWER of knowing how this process works in you (Developed by a 1923 psychiatrist who founded analytical psychology) - pg. 184
The one thing when others make a mistake that little "nobodies" do and big players with powerful status avoid (How to become a big player and convert a person's mistakes into he or she liking you more) - pg. 188
At last, research discovers what goes on INSIDE a females and male's mind that influence how they feel and behave (Researched backed differences between a mans and woman's mind... know the differences between you and your partner's behaviors to keep a STRONG relationship) - pg. 179
8 quick tips to get a higher EQ (emotional intelligence) and INSTANTLY begin understanding your partners, clients, and co-worker's emotions better - pg. 187
How to fulfill another's needs and wants to have the person WANTING you as their LIFETIME partner - pg. 178

This thirteenth chapter reveals in depth the one factor all human beings are strongly driven by - emotion. If you don't know when to use logic, emotion, or a combination of both when communicating with someone, you are flushing the greatest opportunity to build relationships down the toilet. By knowing how to effectively communicate at a logical and emotional level you put the communication secrets in this program on STEROIDS.

Communication Secret 11

The fourteenth chapter reveals the eleventh communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - reassuring. If you reassure your friends, family, and others with statements like "Things will be okay" or "You'll get through it" then you are DESTROYING the relationship and your happiness.

Knowing how to truly support others, help people in their time of need, and EMOTIONALLY CONNECT with people all WITHOUT having to sacrifice your own happiness will make people know you are a TRUE friend and they will like you more...

“It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” - Dr. Carl Sagan (Astronomer and former teacher at Harvard University)

Here is a free sample of chapter fourteen:
How to "verbally hug" and comfort someone through your spoken words - pg. 197
Why happiness, positivity, and seeing the glass half-full is pulling a blind-fold over your relationship making the two of you lose sight of a long-term relationship - pg. 192
The tactic men frequently use to side-step their lady's emotions and leave their lady feeling disconnected in wondering why he doesn't listen (Know this "manly tactic" and you'll have your partner listening to you) - pg. 192
The ingrained characteristic of human psychology that forms who you are and what drives EVERYTHING you do (A reassuring statement will usually try to manipulate this characteristic in someone and fail to do so because of its enduring nature) - pg. 191
The ULTIMATE test of friendship that determines if you are a true friend - pg. 193
How to drop this one emotional shield that is blocking out happiness in an effort to safeguard yourself from experiencing pain and never pick it up again... What you think is protecting you is actually hurting your happiness (I see this shield most commonly used in new relationships by someone who fears the emotional pain in experiencing a break up) - pg. 193
Miss this communication skill and people around you will: 1) Use defensive behaviors like threatening, competing, avoiding, and anger and 2) Be disconfirmed by feeling incompetent and insignificant leading to self-centered behavior - pg. 194
3 simple steps to become a better empathizer and at last UNDERSTAND your partner's emotions instead of being left in the dark as to why they are frustrated and angry at you - pg. 197
The pillow method to soften any hard feelings and have your partner feeling closer to you (A "cushioning" technique to understand your partner and keep your partner feeling connected too you) - pg. 197
How to truly support a friend when the world is firing problems at your friend (A skill adapted from soldiers in war to support comrades under heavy fire) - pg. 193
The one technique to polish "emotional bridges" and have your relationships shining (Put the icing on the cake and make an even tastier emotional CONNECTION) - pg. 198
7 elements of SUPPORTIVE communication for times of crisis that will make you a PILLAR of strong and stable relationships (How to be supportive, help others in their time of need, and prevent other's problems from knocking down your relationships) - pgs. 194-196

This fourteenth chapter guides you on how to be a true friend, family member, and supportive person. You will discover how to be a PILLAR of strength in times of need. You will know how to stand STRONG and not let tidal waves in life knock you and others down. As a result, you will increase your magnetic charisma and people will like you more.

Communication Secret 12

The fifteenth chapter reveals the twelfth communication secret of great relationships, happiness, and success - deflecting. You deflect when your thoughts, feelings, words, or body language does not communicate the right focus you should have in a conversation.

Knowing these conversation skills will make people feel important, build INTIMATE connections, and let you be CONFIDENTLY in control of conversations which all helps make people like you...

“One of the most important phases of maturing is that of growth from self-centering to an understanding relationship to others.” - Walter Scott

Here is a free sample of chapter fifteen:
How to "sync up" your thoughts and feelings with your partner's SECRET desires (A simple technique to give what your partner secretly HUNGERS for) - pg. 203
The poor conversational skill used by social butterflies that snips their beautiful wings sending their relationships crashing down to the ground (How to have more ENJOYABLE conversations to enhance your relationships by avoiding this poor conversational skill) - pg. 200
8 conversational subjects you must avoid MORE THAN A PLAGUE to prevent the "black death" of a new relationship - pg. 200
The main reason someone avoids your emotional concerns in a relationship and how to fix the problem to put your needs under the spotlight (It is great to focus on your partner in a relationship but your needs are just as IMPORTANT because you are 50% of the relationship) - pg. 202
A bad communication habit most commonly used by Americans that hurts passion, love, and a secure intimate connection - pg. 202
How to safely rescue someone who just had their concerns drowned in a group conversation and not risk drowning yourself in the process (Includes a bonus step to receive an EXTRA brownie point and have the group involved in the conversation unknowingly liking you more for what you did) - pg. 204
The mix-and-match game of caring about yourself or your partner is explained so your relationship becomes the winner (When to focus on your own personal needs and when it is ESSENTIAL to focus on your partner's needs) - pg. 201
What exactly you must START doing TODAY if you are to have great relationships tomorrow (You will get high emotional and relationship returns by investing in this today) - pg. 204

This fifteenth chapter helps you step-by-step make other people feel important. By making people feel important, they will love being around because of the way you make them feel. You will discover conversation skills that will increase your magnetic charisma and make people LIKE you.

I'm not sure just how excited you are about this program, but you are going to be more so now with these delicious treats...

Here's What You Get In The Communication Secrets of Making People Like You Program

1) Communication Secrets of Making People Like You eBook


You saw samples of the 15 chapters above which are jam-packed into this ebook. The first 3 chapters are foundational material that is by no means "basic material". These 3 chapters help speed up making people like you and increase your personal success. The following 12 chapters that were described above each COMPLETELY covers a communication secret of making people like you.

You will get the ultimate education in making people like you. You will learn how to make someone attracted to you and managing conflict too developing a magnetic personality and safely expressing your point of view to name just four of the many topics taught in this ebook.

Now you know what comes in the ebook titled "Communication Secrets of Making People Like You: The 12 Principles of Powerful Communication That Instantly Makes You a Persuasive and Charismatic People Magnet". However, that isn't the complete program! I have 2 EXCLUSIVE FREE BONUSES that are a part of this complete program in making people like you.

2) Bonus #1 - Communication Secrets of Making People Like You Workbook: 30 Days to Success.


I want you to get the communication skills for great relationships, happiness, and success faster then the time it took me to develop these skills. A lot faster.

This 36 page bonus workbook will put "rubber on the road" and get people liking you FAST. The valuable workbook cannot be found anywhere else as it is an exclusive bonus to this program. It is a workbook I wish I had before discovering the communication secrets of making people like me as it would have eliminated a lot of unnecessary painful experiences.

Here's a sample of what you discover inside the FREE bonus workbook:
How to get the MOST out of this entire communication secrets program for your maximum results.
The one quality you MUST possess to win ANYTHING you set out to achieve.
3 principles which got me to where I am today (How I transformed myself from an computer addicted anti-social loser into an expert teacher of communication skills).
How to achieve any relationship goal or get your desire in making people like you.
How to create a BURNING desire for never-ending persistence.
Fundamental principle behind Communication Secrets of Making People Like You which will fast track your goals.
Worksheets to write down your lessons, notes, experiences, and track your progress.
An activity to identify your communication weaknesses no matter how blind you are to them so you can transform them into strengths and people magnetic skills.

This valuable FREE bonus is a catalyst that is "injected" into the program to SPEED UP your RESULTS.

3) Bonus #2 - How to Never Have a Bad Relationship Again


The title of this second FREE bonus says exactly what it will reveal to you. It is a valuable and "to the point" 6 page report on how to never have a bad relationship again. It teaches you that you will still have the occasional bad experience, but you will NEVER have a bad relationship again.

Here's a sample of what you discover inside the FREE bonus report:
The 2 options you ALWAYS have that will GUARANTEE you never have a bad relationship again.
The 2 reasons why you don't have the relationships YOU want in your life right now.
What does a flowing river have to do with eliminating bad relationships? It is...
A step-by-step activity that gets you your desired relationships no matter the type of relationships you have right now.
A worksheet I've prepared for you that is a part of the activity to get you your desired relationships.


Let’s Recap What’s Jammed Into The Program

So to recap what you get in this entire program on becoming a people magnet.
You get everything:
The complete 210+ page ebook "Communication Secrets of Making People Like You: The 12 Principles of Powerful Communication That Instantly Makes You a Persuasive and Charismatic People Magnet".
Bonus #1 - "Communication Secrets of Making People Like You Workbook: 30 Days to Success".
Bonus #2 - "How to Never Have a Bad Relationship Again".


How To Know If This Program Is Right For You

There is just ONE issue left before you decide to check out the program. This issue is who the communication secrets program is for.

I made this program for people like yourself who are interested in communication skills. However, the program is not for you if you do not take action. You will watch as your relationships grow with the "healthy food" from your nourishing communication taught in the program but only if you take ACTION on what I teach.

That is another important lesson I learned. The decisive, the successful, the people who achieve their personal goals are the ones who act immediately. They act right now instead of delaying their actions for another day. An intense desire to take action will get you FAST results.

You can be downloading the entire program within a few SHORT minutes and take advantage of the skills it took me several painful years to discover. You can be reading the program IMMEDIATELY from the PRIVACY and COMFORT of your computer.

Don’t Decide Now...
Read My Communication Secrets Of Making People Like You Program FREE For 56 Days

Before you order today, with your permission I'd like to send you the complete and INSTANTLY downloadable program to you for FREE. That's right. Here's a personal note from me about this:



The double guarantee is my way of apologizing for wasting your time if you do not get the life-changing, charismatic, persuasive, people magnetic, and relationship building skills I GUARANTEE you when putting my program to use.

My family have told me giving you the program free for 56 days and the option of having me send you an additional $20 is absolutely CRAZY.

This is all the while you are SAFELY and COMFORTABLY at home completely risk-free.

There are four crystal-clear conditions for you to receive this double guarantee where you get a full refund and $20 out of MY very own pocket. To get this crazy double guarantee where I've put my butt on the line, you need to: 1) Have read the program 2) Email me video footage of you in conversation with someone containing proof of the date 3) Email me the bonus workbook you've roughly filled-out and 4) Tell me why the program failed you. Simple as that.

But if you just want a plain old, no hassles, no questions, and NO conditions refund, then my guarantee of trying the program free for 56 days is entirely yours.

I cannot make this program more of a "no-brainer" investment then I already have. I truly want to make you a charismatic and persuasive people magnet.

What Are These Results-Guaranteed Communication Skills In This Program That Will Last You A Lifetime Worth To You?

$300? $1000? Successful business people would probably say a five-figure amount because they know the power effective communication has on them in becoming more successful.

It's tough putting a price on such an invaluable skill that will improve your relationships, happiness, and success and which will last you a lifetime.

So let me ask you this: How much do you spend on clothes per year? $200? $500? $1000? Also, why do you spend this money on clothes?

You buy clothes not only because they are a necessity to living, but also because they make you look and FEEL good. You look better and feel better about yourself when wearing good clothes. You become more CONFIDENT knowing you look good. Perhaps other people even compliment you on your clothes and this makes you feel good.

Now, for the same yearly period, how much have you spent on developing your communication?

If you're like most people, you'd spend more on clothing. I'm sure from your experiences and after reading this letter that I don't need to tell you how more powerful effective communication is in becoming a people magnet than wearing better clothes.

EACH interaction you have with someone can be improved with this jam-packed program because the skills last you a LIFETIME in communicating better with people.

Clothes go through fads, wear-out, and often don't fit over time while effective communication is human psychology that hasn't changed since the birth of man. What has changed since then is our ability to learn better communication skills and with this comes the opportunity to improve our lifestyle.

I'm certain this program is more VALUABLE to you than what you probably spend on clothing in a month. The entire program and all its bonuses is discounted at the one-time payment of $197 $147 $77US! It comes with the crazy guarantee of an entire refund and me giving you an extra $20 if you are not satisfied! $77 is nothing when compared to living in unhappy relationships, being unsuccessful with people, or unhappy with your communication.

The program is very economical because I realize that not all people can afford my personal coaching. By creating the program, I'm able to give you the same life-changing advice as in my personal coaching sessions except without the $2000 fee. There's only 24 hours in a day and I can't coach lots of people so this program is a great and affordable alternative.

The Clock is Ticking...

Each MINUTE you waste in deciding whether to invest in this program after reading all of its many benefits that I GUARANTEE you will get, is a minute you could have had in enjoying better relationships, happiness, and quicker success with people.

If your boss sees you working more effectively with co-workers because of your improved communication skills, a promotion itself would pay off this program in a WEEK.

This is your time to shine in the spotlight. Everyday I get emails from happy students of mine and now it's YOUR turn to start becoming a people magnet for more success, happiness, and quality relationships which I have guaranteed you. You can't afford to miss out on this opportunity.

"Okay, you've convinced me. I'm ready to INSTANTLY access the program online and start becoming a persuasive and charismatic people magnet! Since you've achieved this after being a 6 hour-a-day anti-social computer gamer, then so will I!"

Here's how it works...

You can secure this program right now and be reading it in less than 5 minutes even if the time is 3 a.m. in the morning.

To order, firstly tick the following boxes below:

"I understand the program is a one-time payment of $77US and that I spend more on clothing in a year to make people like me and feel good about myself then the persuasive and charismatic people-magnet-guaranteed-results I will get in this program."

"I understand ALL the bonuses (The report "How to Never Have a Bad Relationship Again" and the "Communication Secrets of Making People Like You Workbook: 30 Days to Success") will be rushed to me in the package and that I can keep the bonuses EVEN if I get a refund!"

"I understand the program is backed by the 56 day money back guarantee and double guarantee where you, Josh, will send me $20US out of your very own pocket if I don't learn the communication secrets of becoming a persuasive and charismatic people magnet!"


"I understand that I am investing in a program that uses the popular PDF (Portable Document Format) (which is free popular software I likely already have but I can EASILY download it immediately after my purchase on the "Thank You Page" if I don't already have it). The entire program will be delivered to me electronically over the Internet in less than 5 minutes after my purchase."

After selecting the boxes above, click the link directly below. You will be taken to a page where you just need to enter your email address to proceed. You will soon be taken to the SECURE website you select to process your payment. After paying, you'll receive your special link and be able to INSTANTLY download the entire program and bonuses!



I Will Make People Like Me and Become a Persuasive Charismatic People Magnet by Clicking Here and Securely Getting My Copy Here Today



If you'd like to pay by check, visit here for instructions.

Your security is my priority. 2CheckOut.com Inc. (Ohio, USA) is an authorized retailer for goods and services provided by EarthlingCommunication.com

Will you get a new charismatic and "people magnetic" personality?

Will you experience loving relationships with family, friends, and your partner?

Will you feel accepted, excited, and powerful?

Will you be more successful and know how to get what you want out of people while enhancing the relationship?

Will you feel joyful, relaxed, less stressed, and enjoying life more with less arguments, frustration, misunderstandings, and conflict?

Will you feel connected to other people and will they feel connected to you?

I want to see you have all this but it is up to you to take the next step.

Take the next step by grabbing your copy of the program today. With my 56 day no hassles, no questions, and NO conditions refund, you are ENTIRELY risk-free. This is further backed with my rock-solid double guarantee in giving you $20 out of my own pocket if you are not fully satisfied.

Now is the time to overcome the emotional and mental areas of your life that you hate like poor relationships that are less than what you ultimately want. It is up to you today to grab your copy of the program to begin having great relationships happiness, and success with people.

I have my name on the line because I want to be the world's #1 communication skills teacher so you can be certain I have and will do everything possible to ensure your happiness and success with my program.

Thanks for taking the time to educate yourself on the communication secrets of making people like you.

To your success with people from your friend,



Joshua Uebergang

P.S. In this program where I take you by the hand, you are going to discover the step-by-step communication secrets of making people like you and becoming a people magnet. You will gain the skills to improve each relationship you have and get the ones you wish you had. You will develop a personality and the skills that people find "addictive" which will give you great relationships, happiness, and success with people. I GUARANTEE it with pure confidence.

Last updated: Monday, 24 September, 2007
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The authors of quotes (Paul J. Meyer, Alan Moore, Napoleon Hill, William Arthur Ward, Anthony Rapp, Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Maslow, Joyce Bauer, Niccolo Machiavelli, Anthony Robbins, Pearl Buck, Dale Carnegie, Dr. Carl Sagan, and Walter Scott) used to help teach you what each chapter in this program is about are not affiliated and in no way endorse this program. Some of these authors are 19th century greats in their field of expertise and were not alive to see this new communication secrets program.
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