DIFFICULT DOZEN Help Zone

FROM THE DIFFICULT DOZEN HELP ZONE!
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  THE CONTROL FREAK
  'That's not how I told you to do it!'

-- Control freaks are rarely control-minded about everything. Some are obsessed with budget issues only. Others are perfectionists who want the margins in those letters exactly one inch on each side. Still others want to know what everyone is doing every minute of the workday. Think about your own control-freak colleague, and determine what activates his controlling nature. 

-- In a very diplomatic way, get your colleague to question his controlling tendencies. For instance, if a project is getting underway and the controlling person wants to monitor who's doing what on a minute-by-minute basis, ask a few mind-opening questions: Why do we need to keep such close track of time? What has worked best with previous projects? What will work best for this project? Let the answers speak for themselves.

-- People who work for control freaks often go to their boss for permission or guidance every time they want to do something that's slightly beyond their usual set of tasks. If you find yourself operating in ask-the-boss mode, you know the result: It keeps the boss happy, but it stifles your creativity, growth, and sense of mission. What to do? Make a new habit of doing things without always getting the boss's signoff. Start small. If your controlling boss tries to pull you back, simply say, 'You're so busy, I just didn't want to bother you with this.' Try again if you have to, and build on the small successes.

-- Another response to the controlling boss is 'drone mode' -- where the employee never tries anything different, opting to do the same work the same way, day in and day out, simply to keep the boss out of her hair. If you want something more, then re-engage your brain and start planning. What do you want to learn? How do you want to grow? Is there something new you could do -- or something you currently do that could be done differently and better? -- that would help you and your organization and its customers? Decide on one or two steps you can take and get going. In doing this, you might have to talk things over with your boss. Just be careful not to slip into ask-the-boss mode!


  THE STICKLER
  'According to Rule #247...'

-- To the stickler, rules and policies are king. So when they cite Page 86 of the policy manual to explain why you can't do something, don't try going toe to toe with them. Certainly don't challenge the rule itself. You'll find yourself expending a lot of energy -- and getting nothing but resistance and frustration in return. 

-- There's one exception to the don't-confront-them suggestion: Sticklers often jump to conclusions, instinctively believing that any new approach goes against the rules and policies. If your proposed way of doing things actually stays within established boundaries, take the time to explain it in detail. Clear up any misunderstandings. 

-- If your proposed approach pushes the outside of the policy envelope, then ask for the stickler's input, perhaps with a lead-in like this: 'I hear what you're saying. Do you have any ideas on how I could go forward with this? Could the plan be tweaked in some way?' Use her response to start a constructive dialogue that focuses more on the intended outcome -- and less on the rules or policies that stand in your way. 

-- When you're proposing something that might catch flak from a rule-driven colleague, explain it in terms of the organization's or department's mission. Show how the new way of doing things promotes the mission. Example: 'I know that support staff have never been able to access the sales data, but if our mission really is to make EVERYONE in the company a salesperson, maybe greater openness would make sense.'


  THE MINIMIZER
  'Sorry, but that's not my job.'

-- The next time you approach a minimizer for help with a task that's outside his routine, let him know how his work will contribute to the big picture. For instance, if you need help assembling materials for an upcoming presentation, take five minutes on the front end to explain what the presentation is about, why it's important, and how his help will make a difference.

-- Minimizers rarely hear compliments, so try a little flattery. For example: 'I know you're busy, but I was wondering if you could help me with these spreadsheets. You seem to be the only one around here who knows the program.' If your comments are genuine, they'll strike a positive chord.

-- Pair up a minimizer with two or three other people who are quite the opposite -- industrious types who charge into new work activities. There's a risk that the minimizer will drain energy away from the group, but more likely than not, they'll feel a need to perk up and pitch in. 

-- It's easy to conclude that minimizers are just plain lazy. In reality, many are stuck in ruts that they don't enjoy. Perhaps their home life is in turmoil and it's all they can think about. Or maybe they lack confidence and are afraid to try new things. If your rapport with them is good enough, explain how you see the situation, and ask for their impressions. Turn this into a constructive dialogue. Work together to figure out ways to make things better for everyone.

-- When proposing new assignments to minimizers who feel they lack the necessary skills, show your awareness and offer support, like this: 'I know you've never handled phone inquiries, and don't worry, we won't just toss you in. You can attend the special training session being held next month. And if you want, you can be teamed up with one of our veteran phone reps so you can learn all the ins-and-outs.'


  THE PESSIMIST
  'That'll never work.'

-- Avoid the urge to dismiss the pessimist's negative outlook. It's tempting to counter with a simple, 'Aw, it's not that bad' -- and to turn your attention to the positive people. This is certainly an efficient approach. But it risks alienating the pessimist and making her feel even more negative. And it keeps you from getting at underlying issues and helping to change the person's attitude in the long term.

-- When a pessimist starts to generalize, ask why, and gently press for specifics and solutions. Pessimist: 'There's no way that plan is going to work!' You: 'Why do you say that?' Pessimist: 'It's unrealistic.' You: 'In what way?' Pessimist: 'The assumptions on which it's based are completely subjective. We don't have enough hard data.' You: 'Which assumptions in particular?' Pessimist: 'The ones about buying trends in the young-adult market over the next two years.' You: 'How could we get better data?' As you can see, it's a matter of asking questions to turn the generalizations in specifics -- and to get the person engaged in solving the problem.

-- As ideas and action plans begin to take shape, people often get carried away with enthusiasm -- and they fail to see potential pitfalls that can hobble the plan as it's implemented. You can guard against this by putting the pessimist to work in the important role of 'healthy skeptic.' Ask for her candid feedback while things are being put on the drawing board. Ask questions like: What are we not considering as we build this plan? What could go wrong in implementation? If the responses are general, use additional questions to uncover specifics.

-- When the pessimist insists that things won't work, share one or two recent success stories as evidence that it just might be possible. For instance, if the person is bemoaning the fact that a team approach will simply take too much time, share the story about the team from last year that used a 'blitz' approach to complete their project in one week.


  THE STALLER
  'What's the big rush?!'

-- Ask yourself whether all that stalling is really the staller's fault. Perhaps she's juggling a hundred different demands every workday, and staying on schedule is nearly impossible. There might systemic problems entirely out of her control -- required signoffs, excessive paperwork, cumbersome rules -- that cause delays. Don't assume the worst. Take some time to learn the full situation.

-- If there's real stalling going, and if you can handle it for a while, let the person stall all she wants -- and let the chips fall where they may. There's something to be said for accountability and consequences. 

-- Stallers often wreak the most havoc at the end of a project, when their work is supposed to come together and never does. Prevent this problem by having intermediate deadlines. Use them to check progress on a regular basis -- and to decide on corrective measures to get back on schedule.

-- Some stallers are more like perfectionists. They keep refining their work until they've stretched every last measure of flexibility out of the project schedule. When a work product can be in draft or prototype form, or whenever perfection would actually go beyond requirements, be sure to say so. Make clear that outstanding output is appreciated and definitely desired in many situations, but not this one.

-- Many stallers have controlling tendencies. Their delaying ways are a strategy -- though often an unconscious strategy -- of exerting control over their co-workers and managers. They can hold up a project, foul up a deadline, or make someone wait. What to do? Give them control of a positive kind. Allow them to set their own deadlines within the overall constraints of the work at hand. Have them help shape how the work is done and how the project will unfold. Bring them into the information loop so they can see how work in one area affects other areas. 

-- If none of the above strategies seems to work, consider the fact that some people are just natural procrastinators. They enjoy doing their work with the rush of an impending (or recently passed) deadline. Perhaps there's a role in your workplace that calls for someone who can thrive in times of extreme urgency.


  THE KNOW-IT-ALL
  'I know the solution!'

-- Don't be too quick to dismiss their ideas. Even though their know-it-all ways can be grating, they just might have the knowledge or information you're seeking.

-- When they're speaking, show respect for their know-how by being an active listener. Before moving the conversation to another question or topic, paraphrase what they've just said to show your understanding.

-- Make sure you have an ample supply of data and facts when engaging them in conversation. Be up to speed. Guesswork, assumptions, estimates, and hunches won't be enough to hold the know-it-all's attention, let alone to convince them of anything. 

-- If you're seeking information from them, frame your question(s) carefully. Be specific about what you're asking. Otherwise, they might go off on tangents -- intelligent tangents, but tangents nonetheless that are frustrating and counterproductive.

-- If you're in a group setting with a know-it-all, and you want to get input from participants, use a round-robin process, with each person being given an equal amount of 'air time' to share their views.

-- Avoid directly challenging a know-it-all's facts or interpretation of the facts. Instead, pose a question that can open their thinking. Example of what NOT to say: 'Your data from last quarter can't be right.' Better: 'What are the sources of that data?' Better still: 'What do you think we can do to make sure our quarterly data is accurate and relevant?'

-- Don't question or criticize their credentials. Even though you might have good reason to do so -- and it might feel good in the short term -- they're likely to get angry, defensive, and even more difficult to work with in the long term.


  THE GOSSIP
  'Got any juicy stories?'

-- Don't let yourself get sucked into the gossip vortex. If you're with a group and the conversation starts sounding like a public reading of the National Enquirer, politely excuse yourself and walk away.

-- If you're willing to take a stand against gossip in the workplace, stay with the group and do your best to change the subject. Do it subtly, though -- there's nothing to be gained by turning this into a confrontation. Here's one approach that can get the conversation back on course: 'You know, we probably shouldn't be talking about John when he's not here to give us his side of the story. When will we be seeing him next?'

-- Be ready to ratchet up your response if people are spreading rumors about you. You have to intervene; otherwise the stories will take on a life of their own. Approach the source of the stories in a very civil way. Mention that you've heard the stories that are going around, and ask the person where they heard them and what they believe to be true. Use the conversation to state the facts. 

-- Ideally, try to have a few of your colleagues in on this exchange. The rumormonger is likely to backpedal, and with some co-workers on hand, it will turn into a public clarification -- perhaps even an apology.

-- If gossip and rumors are running rife throughout your workplace -- if they practically define the work environment -- then start analyzing why. Is internal competition pitting people against one another? Are systems in place that compel people to hoard data and resources? Is there an up-or-out culture, with people spreading rumors to keep colleagues from getting ahead? Dig deeply to uncover root causes.


  THE SCHEMER
  'I'll help you if you'll help me.'

-- Schemers play people off one another, they control information, and they put their own success ahead of others'. In other words, they're game players. And they make it very tempting to play along. Think about it: If someone's keeping information from you, don't you want to hide your own precious info from them? Wanting to take them on is only natural -- and self-defeating. You'll start a battle that drains your energy, sours your colleagues, and hurts your customers. And you'll be labeled as part of the problem. 

-- Many schemers get their way by subtly bribing people. They put on a friendly air and vaguely promise to help at some point down the road -- in exchange for an immediate favor. Their favorite phrase is 'I owe you one.' Face the fact: Schemers rarely deliver on those promises. Take a pass the next time they try to make a deal.

-- When a schemer turns on you, the best response is a cool head and a bounty of facts and data. For instance, if a scheming colleague is going behind your back to spread rumors that your project is way over budget, come to the next meeting with the latest figures proving otherwise. There's no need to be confrontational -- simply present the facts, take questions, and let reality clear up any misunderstandings.

-- If the schemer is more aggressive, actively working to sabotage your work area or project, look for an opportunity to engage him in civil conversation about it when colleagues are around -- preferably in a meeting. Explain what you are seeing and how you interpret it, and ask whether your concerns are justified. Be as specific as possible, but also be concise, and end by asking the schemer for his take on things. He'll likely be defensive, but that's to be expected. His response is fairly unimportant, actually. What you want is to create a public awareness of what's happening.


  THE HOTHEAD
  'You people drive me crazy!'

-- When hotheads start to boil over, it's easy to get caught up in the moment and become a hothead in response. Don't. Stay aware of your reaction, and do your best to keep it professional. Maintain a steady voice, even breathing, and normal eye contact. In most cases, a hothead's rants are temporary. Batten down the hatches and wait for it to pass.

-- Many hotheads use their tantrums as a tool for getting things done. If you show that this crude tool works on you, they'll hammer you with it again and again. Stand up to the hothead while remaining as emotionally steady as possible. Make clear by your actions and words that the bullying approach won't work. After a few very trying incidents, the hothead will see the futility of her approach, at least as it applies to you.

-- Try to figure out what pushes your workplace hothead to the edge, and use your insights to shape your interactions with her. For instance, if she seems to blow her stack when project reports lack detail, sit down with her and get her input well before the next project is completed. Find out the precise level of detail she'd like in the eventual report. Another example: If she loses her cool whenever she feels left out of the communication loop, make a point of keeping her better informed, even if it means spending an extra 10 minutes now and then to provide briefings.

-- If the above ideas don't have much impact with your hotheaded colleague, communicate more in writing -- and less in face-to-face encounters. When messages are put in printed form, the person will have more time to process the information and decide on her reaction. 

-- Recognize that some hotheads are simply hopeless. Their outbursts emerge from deep-seated issues that are beyond your control -- and are best addressed by a psychiatrist. Safeguard your own self-esteem by minimizing contact with them.


  THE LIMELIGHT HOG
  'It's all thanks to me, myself, and I.'

-- Although they can get on our nerves with their constant quest for rewards and recognition, limelight hogs are rarely nasty or vindictive. You can talk to them, and often, that's the best strategy. If a project is reaching closure and you sense that your colleague might be ready to seize the spotlight, make a preemptive move by meeting with her for a private conversation. Take stock of the project and all the people who helped make it a success, and talk about ways to spread the recognition.

-- Set a positive example of how to share the spotlight. If you anticipate that recognition is coming your way -- and your way only -- for a project that involved a group of people, try to ensure that everyone gets the credit they deserve. If an award goes only to you, make a point of acknowledging everyone's contribution.

-- Document who does what as projects unfold. This can be done easily -- when compiling project updates or meeting minutes, for instance. It ensures that when the project wraps up and recognition starts going around, there's an easy way to recall all the people who are responsible.

-- Don't wait until the very end of a project to acknowledge people for their hard work, good ideas, and big achievements. Make acknowledgment and appreciation a routine gesture.

-- Take a critical look at how your workplace recognizes people. Is the spotlight narrowly focused on individuals and individual performance, or is there broader recognition of collective effort? An 'employee of the month' program might bring out the worst in your limelight hog while fomenting internal competition. Why not have a 'team of the month' or 'teams of the month'? Or how about recognizing outstanding workplace practices instead of focusing on people?


  THE WHINER
  'Everything here is so unfair!'

-- Whiners have a way of drawing people into their negative vortex. Even positive people can feel the pull, especially if they want to show empathy for their complaining colleague. So be careful: When dealing with a workplace whiner, don't unwittingly become one!

-- Some whiners just want to vent, so give them a chance. Take five or so minutes from your schedule and let them go full blast explaining what's causing them so much heartburn. There's no need to agree with them. In fact, by agreeing, you just might fan the flames. Simply listen, ask a few questions, generate some light conversation, and leave it at that.

-- If the griping continues and your active listening gets you nothing but an earache, take the conversation one big step further. Ask the whiner to explain why he's complaining. Press for specifics. Try to uncover root causes. For instance, if he can't stop talking about 'unfair policies,' ask him to identify the specific policies he has in mind. Then ask him what's unfair about them. This exchange will either reveal that there's nothing behind the person's complaints -- or it will add clarity and detail to some very justified concerns. 

-- Whiners tend to assume the worst. When any kind of change is rolled out in the workplace -- a new policy, a new project, a shift in assignments -- they jump to conclusions and broadcast their negative comments for all to hear. Facts often get ignored or distorted, and resistance to the change starts to build. The solution? Be ready with an ample supply of correct information. For instance, if you feel that someone is slamming the new sick-leave policy by twisting the facts, call in a colleague who knows the policy inside out. Have this person brief staff members, or gather the necessary information yourself and circulate it throughout the workplace.

-- Involve your workplace whiner in developing the very things he whines about. It sounds counterintuitive, but it's a great way to turn his plentiful energy into positive action. As an example, if a new project is being contemplated, enlist his help in determining the scope, goals, and other elements of the project charter.


  THE HO-HUMMER
  'I couldn't care less.'

-- People aren't born apathetic, and few people come to work wanting to be that way. So there's probably a reason for your co-worker's couldn't-care-less attitude. Take some time to think about it, and if you can do so with utmost diplomacy, consider asking them directly. A little bit of understanding on your part will go a long way -- and might point the way to a solution.

-- Many ho-hummers are made that way because they're assigned to do the same work activities day after day. The solution? Try to involve them in new projects and work activities. Even a task or two away from the old routine can restart a person's pulse.

-- When deciding who's best-suited for a certain job or project, look beyond knowledge, skills, and abilities. Also consider people's deep interests -- the activities, pursuits, and passions that truly put a spring in their step. What about the ho-hummers in your midst? Identify their deep interests, and see if these somehow link to an upcoming project. For example, if the person is an avid writer whose job deals exclusively with numbers, look for an assignment that calls for writing skills.

-- Ho-hummers often feel like the workplace currents are carrying them -- that they have no control over things, so what the heck, they may as well go with the flow. Try changing the dynamic by giving them some control. Instead of telling them what to do ('Send our usual feedback survey to last month's customers'), let them figure out a better way ('How do you think we should go about getting feedback from last month's customers?'). 

-- Similarly, if several things need to be done and it doesn't matter which is done first, let the ho-hummer make his own decision on where to begin. 

-- Create more opportunities for employees to interact with customers. This is a great way to increase people's emotional investment in their work -- because it shows them that those seemingly humdrum work activities actually have an impact.


  Copyright 2002-2008 Tom Terez Workplace Solutions Inc.
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  trademarks of Tom Terez Workplace Solutions Inc.
  http://www.BetterWorkplaceNow.com
  Columbus, Ohio USA

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