Leadership in the Balance

Rethinking Balance:
A Conversation with CCL's Joan Gurvis

If you are on a quest for balance, temporarily put aside your calendar and instead consider the bigger picture. CCL's Joan Gurvis shares her ideas for rethinking balance.

What are the myths or blocks that prevent us from feeling balanced?

JG: We each hold a perception of what gets in the way for us - not enough time or not enough money are common reasons. Other challenges are:
Technology: We have so many ways to be wired, connected and attached.
Work: Many of us think that we will be in balance when our career stabilizes or we get that next promotion or job opportunity. More often than not, balance continues to be elusive.
Family: working families, overscheduled kids, competing demands for our time and attention, lack of family support.
Energy: When we don't take time to recharge our batteries, we often tell ourselves that balance will be easier "when I get in shape" or "if only I had more sleep."
Success: Success changes at different stages of life. We often forget to redefine our definition of success over the years.

All these are real issues and need to be addressed as part of the process of seeking balance, but they shouldn't be permanent roadblocks.

What are some short-term strategies people can use to regain their equilibrium?

JG: Get really clear on values and priorities and try to manage them. If you have an overwhelming job, then think about what the most important activities are that you will engage in and, when you do those activites, do them with full attention.

I know a consultant who had an incredibly stressful year - a separation and divorce, moving twice, plus traveling about three weeks out of the month. His strategy was to do things in focused chunks. He made a list of his priorities, including time to run and connect with others. Even though his time was limited, he felt as though he maintained a whole life. It was insane at times, but when he was in the room with you, you felt completely attended to because of his focus. He described switching between joyful activities and work or hard and difficult tasks as "channel changing."

Another important strategy is to think of small changes. You can't change everything, so what is the one lever you can pull that will make a difference? What incremental changes can you agree and commit to?

When balance issues are tied to larger issues of values or long-term decisions, what steps can people take?

JG: Often we try to go from problem to solution. Instead, try a strategy of getting broader first to focus more narrowly. To open your thinking to possibilities, try journaling and asking yourself big, important questions. Big questions will usually generate more questions that, if you take the time to reflect on, can help you gain clarity. For example, if you want to find a new job, then you might need to ask yourself: What aspects of a new job would feel better? Do I want to stay in the same field? Is my circle of networks adequate? What parts of my current job do I really like?

What else should people know about finding work-life balance?

JG: Unless you take steps to protect time for your family and yourself, work usually encroaches. Don't expect your boss or organization to offer balance to you. The dominant work culture generally isn't promoting work-life balance - at least not yet!

Facing Up to Balance

"Seeking balance involves risk. When you take action in one area, something else in your life will be affected," warns CCL's Joan Gurvis. Reevaluating and making change to create more balance in your life can have consequences on:

Your image. You may have to take fewer red-eye flights, for example. As a consequence, you will have fewer opportunities to impress your boss and colleagues with your high level of commitment by making sure that they know you flew all night the previous night - and that you are in the office the next morning before starting time.

Your significant other. You may be increasingly uneasy about the demands of the job because they are having a negative impact on a marriage or relationship. You may have to reach agreement and understanding that your income may suffer if work hours are cut back.

Your family. You may need to reevaluate your assumptions about family life and roles.

Your career. You may decide that the hard work, long hours and effort you've devoted to accomplishing your objectives seem not to have resulted in your having what you expected. You may have to identify what you need to do differently.

Your boss and co-workers. Telling your boss that you can no longer stay in the office so late on most evenings will create a real shift in how work gets accomplished.