Put Communication to Work


On any given day we’re faced with any number of communication challenges. Maybe it’s negotiating with a neighbor to buy her car. Or coaching an employee to help him improve his performance. Or influ- encing a client to sign a new contract. So many things to accomplish, so little time to waste getting stuck in old approaches and ineffective behaviors.
By examining our roles and our approaches to interactions, we can open ourselves up to change and to putting better communication to work — in both our personal and professional lives.

In this issue:
1. Building the Communication Bridge
2. Negotiating Win-Win Solutions
3. Influencing with Assertive Communication
4. Opening the Door to Better Coaching


Building the Communication Bridge

For many people the concept of basic communication entails two parties — a speaker sending a message and a listener receiving the message. The process is not so simple, though, as no two people are exactly alike. A listener has his or her own history and style, and in- terprets any messages coming his or her way. At the same time, the speaker reads the listener's reaction and may adjust the message.

Another layer to complicate communication is the fact that it can take many forms other than the spoken word, which, itself, is not always clear-cut. In addition to verbal communication, 3 other common forms of communication are paraverbal, body language, and personal space.

One communication model presents 3 factors as the links to better communication: Environment, Values, and Relationships. When there is a strong degree of overlap between perceptions of these factors, speakers and listeners will use complementary behaviors that make it easier for them to communicate effectively. When there are differ- ences between perceptions, there is a greater likelihood they will use behaviors that are not complementary, increasing the chances for misunderstanding and communication breakdown.

Self-knowledge can be the first step to improving communication. The more we know about ourselves — and our communication style — as speakers and listeners, the better able we are to build the “communication bridge” that allows us to send, receive, and interpret messages with ease.

Source: Building the Communication Bridge. For more information, please click here or call HRDQ at 800-633-4533.

Negotiating Win-Win Solutions

Do nice guys finish last? Great negotiators know that “nice” doesn’t mean weak. It means negotiating to come to a common solution that works for all involved, not just one individual. But in a world where we’ve been trained and rewarded to compete and win, thinking in terms of collaboration — or “win-win” — is a new concept for many people, and one that requires practice.

When it comes to negotiating, we tend to adopt one or a combination of 5 different styles. These styles are determined by the varying le- vels of concern for the outcome of the negotiation and for the relationship:

Defeat (high concern-outcome/low concern-relationship)

Collaborate (high concern-outcome/high concern-relationship)

Accommodate (low concern-outcome/high concern- relationship

Withdraw (low concern-outcome/low concern-relationship)

Compromise (moderate concern-outcome/moderate concern-relationship)

While variations of each style may be appropriate under certain cir- cumstances, the consistent application of the Collaborative style offers the greatest probability of producing the highest-quality nego- tiating results and most enduring satisfaction of the people involved. In negotiating collaboratively, satisfying both parties’ needs is of greatest concern and, when problem-solving strategies are used to satisfy those needs, both the outcome and relationships benefit.

To become collaborative negotiators, we can take specific steps. By considering 5 key factors when preparing for a negotiation, learning a 5-step negotiation process, and sharpening 3 vital communication skills, we can help make the transformation begin.

Source: Negotiating Win-Win Solutions. For more information, please click here or call HRDQ at 800-633-4533.

Influencing with Assertive Communication

Whether or not we’re conscious of it, we communicate with the goal of influencing other people on a regular basis. From the simplest task of resolving a small misunderstanding with a colleague to the monu- mental task of negotiating the terms of a deal with a new client, we utilize a variety of communication strategies for influencing others. These strategies are expressed through our choice of verbal and nonverbal behaviors — behaviors that stem from our thoughts, emo- tions, and assumptions regarding the situation at hand.

To influence others, we generally use behaviors that are categorized into one of 4 different styles: Passive, Concealed Aggressive, Openly Aggressive, and Assertive. Of these styles, the Assertive style is most effective because assertive communicators express themselves di- rectly and honestly while simultaneously acknowledging and respect- ting the rights of others. And while communicating assertively calls for a great deal of self-awareness and control, we can master what it takes to be an effective influencer by using specific strategies.

The ASERT Process gives assertive communicators a model for interacting with others. The steps to ASERT include:

Analyze the Situation

State Your Position

Evaluate Nonverbal Behaviors

Receive Feedback

Test for Understanding

By applying the strategies associated with each step, we can help to ensure that everyone’s needs are represented during the decision- making process.

Source: Influencing with Assertive Communication. For more information, please click here or call HRDQ at 800-633-4533.

Opening the Door to Better Coaching

Among the many duties managers, supervisors, and team leaders are asked to carry out, addressing job-performance problems is often one of the least liked. But in order to keep employees effective, it’s a vital part of a boss’s responsibilities. Still, the approaches typically used are not likely to succeed. Ignoring performance problems rarely causes them to get better. Friendly advice typically goes unheeded. Stern warnings invariably cause defensiveness, anger, and apathy but not behavior change.

With all the issues and emotions that can arise, conducting coaching meetings is no easy task. The right preparation and skill develop- ment, though, can help make the task not only manageable but also productive.

One model offers a logical formula for coaching meetings that are based on mutual trust and respect. It consists of:

Building a Relationship of Mutual Trust

Opening the Meeting

Getting Agreement

Exploring Alternatives

Getting a Commitment to Act

Handling Excuses

Closing the Meeting

Grounded in behavioral science, the steps and skills identified in this model have been found to distinguish managers who are experts at conducting coaching meetings from their non-expert counterparts (Orth et al., 1987; Fournies, 1978; and Stowell & Starcevich, 1987). By using the model as a framework for measuring skill level, mana- gers can assess the areas where they need to improve and, ulti- mately, have a positive impact on their employees’ job performance.

Source: Coaching Skills Inventory (now revised and expanded). For more information, please click here or call HRDQ at 800-633-4533.

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